This Is Your Song
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: A Johnny/Nadine romp.
1. Chapter 1

**What You Need To Know: **

Aunt Rayleen was a Port Charles native and when she died, she left her house to Nadine. Since it is very large and the utilities can be costly, Nadine invited Leyla and Regina to move in with her and pay rent, and it works out pretty well for all three of them.

In addition to the house, Nadine got a room of her own above Jake's to use when she wanted some privacy.

Johnny is single and the head of the Zacchara family.

Claudia is his advisor and will be a watered-down version of herself in this story. Mainly because I'm not even going to try to top my Claudia in The Right Girl. Ha ha.

Lulu is a candy striper at the hospital and is in love with Johnny, but he barely even knows she's alive.

Like in TRG, Johnny owns a very nicely furnished apartment on the waterfront that no one else knows about.

This story picks up right after Elizabeth, Lainey, and Robin walk into Jake's to see Leyla dancing on a table. Instead of helping Nadine get her down and get her home, they left and the Girls' Night Out scene on the show where Nadine did tequila shots with them never happened.

**Author's Note: **I simply couldn't wait to put out this story. I have had it planned forever, since the very beginning of The Right Girl, to be honest, but wanted to finish that story before I started this one. I just can't wait any longer, so here we go. This is not a full-length story and is something of a romp. Not entirely serious, not entirely drawn out, and I expect it to be anywhere from 20-30 chapters long. If that.

**This Is Your Song 1**

**.: Jake's Bar & Billiards :.**

"Gina?" Nadine watched the cab pull out of Jake's and turn onto the main road. "Hey, it's me. Listen, I was at Jake's and Leyla was there. Yeah. She was absolutely trashed. No, I mean, like, dancing on tables, accepting 1 bills, trashed. Yeah. No, I got her down and put her in a cab and gave him the address. Yeah. So – yeah, if it's not too much trouble, just wait up for her, make sure she's okay. Yeah, she'll be home in about twenty minutes."

It was a cool night and she was only wearing a thin sweater over her camisole, so Nadine ducked back inside the bar. "No, my shift just ended. Yeah, I really needed a drink. Or two. If I don't come home tonight, don't worry about it. I'll probably be staying here, then. Yeah. Okay, see you tomorrow. Night."

She hung up and slipped the phone back in her clutch, then headed toward the bar. Coleman knew her by name and knew exactly what she drank, but he liked to surprise her sometimes and that was why she saw a fruity-looking concoction sitting by her favorite stool.

Nadine slid onto the leather and let her long legs dangle, swinging back and forth. "What is this?"

"Something called a nectarini," the bartender replied. "Came from my copy of _The Girliest Drinks On The Planet._ Enjoy."

She much preferred a cold beer or a good glass of whiskey (only the top shelf stuff; there was nothing worse than bad whiskey) but thought it was sweet that Coleman took it upon himself to widen her alcoholic repertoire.

The drink wasn't bad. It was sweet and smooth, smelled good and went down easy. Nadine downed it in a couple of gulps and pushed the glass away, trying to get Coleman's attention as he dealt with someone at the far end of the bar, in the shadows where she never sat.

Fruity, girly drinks were lovely in their own right, but after a tough day at work, she just wanted something good and strong and stiff. Maybe she'd splurge tonight and order some of the good stuff; she'd gotten her paycheck recently and had been good about not spending it, so she figured she deserved a little treat. Coleman made fun of her for liking the top shelf stuff and not being into the tequila or vodka or martini blends like most of the women that came to the bar, but Nadine never paid him any mind.

The man at the end of the bar that was monopolizing all of Coleman's attention finally moved away and headed back to his booth, and Nadine smacked her hand on the counter, hoping to get him to notice her.

"Hey! Coleman!"

"Be with you in a sec, kitten," he called back, reaching onto the high shelf for a bottle of Highland Park 25. She saw the label only when he had it in his hand and balked: she _never_ would have guessed that he had that at Jake's. "You just sit tight."

Nadine drummed her fingers on the counter and watched him slosh the scotch into the glass, holding it up to the light to admire the dark chocolaty color. Satisfied, Coleman sauntered over to her and, much to Nadine's amazement, set the glass down in front of her.

"Enjoy, kitten."

She gaped at the drink, then up at him. "What – I didn't – you can't – Coleman, I can't have this."

He arched a brow at her. "Are you serious? It's the best in the house."

Color rose in her cheeks, but Nadine pushed the embarrassment aside. "I know it is, and I know what it costs – I can't afford this."

Coleman folded his arms on the counter and leaned toward her, his dark hair falling in his eyes. "Kitten, I know you're between boyfriends right now, and I know it's been a while since you've been in the saddle, but let me explain something to you."

Her cheeks bloomed red again, and Nadine tried her best not to bristle. This was a game that she and Coleman played, always trying to needle the other, and it wasn't his fault that he was so damn good at it.

"When a guy buys a gal a drink, it's very rude of her not to accept."

Her lips parted in surprise, and a moment passed before Nadine could even formulate a response. "Coleman, I…thank you so much, but I can't let you buy me-"

The bartender let out a laugh and straightened, running a hand through his hair to push it back. "No, no, kitten, you've got the wrong idea. That's not from me, it's from the gentleman right over there."

She was turning around instantly. "What gentleman?"

"There are very few that stop by here," Coleman drawled, unabashedly pointing in her fellow patron's direction, "but he's sitting right over there. Giving you the cutie eye, too, kitten. Make a note of that."

Nadine wasn't even aware that he'd withdrawn and gone to the other end of the counter because she'd just laid eyes on the man that Coleman was referring her to. He sat back, alone, in his booth, drink in hand, and smirked at her as she gaped at him.

She'd never seen him around the bar before, and she couldn't stop staring. Her first thought was that he was some sort of low-life pervert who had only gotten her that expensive drink (the kind he'd never be able to pay for) so that she'd sleep him and that he'd cause a scene if she resisted and she'd probably have to call the cops, but that thought faded the more she studied him.

He wasn't like most of the other men at Jake's. He wore jeans and a sweater like most of them did, sure, but he was different. His boots were leather and uncreased, so clearly he didn't work a lot or use them roughly, and the silver buckle was still shiny and bright under the lights. His jeans were dark-washed and looked new and expensive. She could see the scribbled logo on the sleeve of his sweater indicating that it was an original Armani crewneck. Over the navy sweater he wore a black blazer, and that extra bit of unrequired fanciness was what separated him from the other shlubs that she normally met here. His hair looked tousled in a careless sort of way, but Nadine knew better: he probably used a couple hair care products to achieve that effortless, windswept look.

He was watching her give him the once-over, damn him, and was still wearing that deviously smug little smirk. Her blatant female appreciation didn't bother him one bit, and his stare was so penetrating that it felt like he could read her mind, like he knew she thought his hair was just made for her fingers to tangle in, that his dark eyes were mysterious and sparkly, that his lips were full and that little grin he wore was just oh-so-sexy.

Without turning all the way around, Nadine wrapped her hand around the glass of scotch, mainly because she suddenly realized she needed something to _do_ other than just stare at that dark-haired hunk that just wouldn't stop smiling at her.

His eyes flicked to her hand on the glass and his smile widened, and the next thing she knew, he was getting up and walking over to her.

Her heart started to race, and her grip on the glass tightened. Shit. She was the worst in these types of situations: she never knew what to do or what to say or how to behave when she was within a two-mile radius of an extremely hot guy, and before long, said extremely-hot-guy just got bored and wandered away to find a woman who wasn't a total klutz inside and out.

Oh, it was the worst.

He was walking over to her – swaggering, really, and it was damn sexy – looking totally at ease and totally confident, and why wouldn't he? The world turned 'round for hot boys like him. He was probably the sort that was fairly used to getting whatever he wanted, but why he wanted to come over and talk to her was a complete mystery.

Nadine lifted her glass and held it in her lap as he approached, his dark eyes still twinkling as he came to stand in front of her, one hand braced casually on the counter.

Realizing that she was supposed to say something, Nadine tamped down her nerves and smiled. "Hi."

"Hey." He drummed his fingers on the counter and tilted his head, suddenly looking downright mischievous. "So I've been thinking…"

She took a small sip of the scotch when he paused and found it absolutely delightful.

"…That you and I should have sex."

…And then she promptly spit it out.

* * *

He'd been watching her for quite some time.

Johnny wanted to be able to say that he wasn't watching her in some sort of creepy, stalker-ish way, but there was really no other reason for how keenly he was aware of her, or how well he knew her habits.

Nadine Crowell, New York native, recently promoted senior pediatric nurse, was absolutely gorgeous. And he wanted her.

He had to be fair: he didn't give her much thought the first time he saw her at Jake's with a couple of the other nurses she worked with. She was pretty enough, nothing special, and he hadn't really been aware of her until one rainy evening at the bar. He was sitting in a booth with two of his top guards when she came into Jake's, absolutely soaked through. Most women in that state would have been grouchy and put out, but not Nadine.

He'd watched her, captivated, as she grinned at the bartender and headed over when he tipped his head, and Johnny had been spellbound as she stripped one sopping wet layer off after another until she was seated on the stool in a pair of jeans and a graphic t-shirt, her long legs dangling two inches off the floor in a pair of bright yellow rainboots covered in little apples. She was self-possessed, confident, easy-going, and more than one head had turned at her lilting laughter, even more at the cute little snort that came out just before she could clamp a hand over her mouth to keep it in.

Since then, he'd watched her. He learned a lot about her just by hanging out in his booth and studying her whenever she happened to come in. She was good friends with two of the nurses at the hospital, one African-American one and the one Iranian one. She always had her tote bag with her, and it was a veritable arsenal of entirely useless knickknacks. She was always smiling and laughing, and when she wasn't, that meant she had a tough day at work and there was a twenty-percent chance she'd reward herself with a glass of the really good stuff.

Coleman never really had any of the _best_ stuff, though. He'd seen her wrinkle her nose a little when he served her some not-quite-top-shelf scotch, and knew that the pretty nurse knew the exact same thing he did: that there was nothing quite as bad as bad scotch. After that incident, he'd spoken to Coleman and told him to reserve some bottles of the _extra good stuff_, on him, and just credit his tab if someone bought any. The next time Nurse Crowell had a rough day, she'd at least gotten something strong and stiff to help her forget about it.

He knew she had a room upstairs. She'd bought it about two months ago, which had confused him at first because he knew that her aunt had left her a rather large house on Birch street, which was the more upscale part of town, but then realized that she shared it with roommates and probably wanted her privacy.

Today looked to be one of those days. He'd seen her get her nurse friend off the table and send her home – admittedly, Johnny was sad to see her go; he was rather enjoying the show she was putting on from his booth in the back – and heard her tell her friend that she'd probably be spending the night. After downing the fruity little nonsense of a drink that Coleman had prepared for her, he'd seen her trying to get his attention, presumably to order something stronger.

And who was Johnny not to oblige? It was never his way to leave a pretty woman wanting, anyway.

Heh.

She was sitting at the counter now, talking to Coleman, and Johnny knew that any second now, she'd turn and look around for him. Sure enough, Nadine turned on her stool and followed the direction of the bartender's finger until her eyes came to rest on him, and Johnny made sure to send her a particularly lascivious smile.

To her credit, she didn't look away immediately. Instead, she displayed her natural curiosity – charmingly so – and gave him the once-over. It was thrilling, in its own quaint way, the way she was assessing him. Johnny wasn't at all unfamiliar with the feminine leer, being looked up and down when he was in pursuit, but there was something so sweet and innocent about the way that she studied him that it just proved all the more titillating.

Deliberately, and keeping her gaze the whole time, Johnny set his glass of scotch down on the table and got up. Her blue eyes widened just a little, as he knew they would, but he didn't mind. He knew from watching her that she was generally wary of men that approached her at Jake's. Since he knew that she didn't have a boyfriend, he presumed that she chose instead to err on the side of caution, which wasn't a bad idea.

She had her glass in her hands and when he approached he saw how tightly she gripped it. Hoping to put her at ease, Johnny flashed her a wide smile. It must have done the trick, because she smiled back.

"Hi."

"Hey." He clicked his nails on the counter and figured there was absolutely no reason to beat around the bush now that they had actually exchanged words for the first time since he first saw her months ago.

"So I've been thinking…"

She took a sip of the scotch and he wondered how she liked it, if the chocolate nose turned honey on the palate before finishing surprisingly sweet.

"…That you and I should have sex."

His smile only grew when she choked on the fine malt.

* * *

Oh, dear God.

She heard wrong. She had to have heard wrong. There was no way that the gorgeous man in front of her had proved himself to be a total ass within two seconds of conversation by propositioning her, a total stranger.

Nadine coughed out the scotch that threatened to settle in her lungs, lifting the back of her hand to her mouth so that she wouldn't spray him with spittle – even though he would have deserved it if he had seriously just asked her for sex.

Finished hacking up the pricey single-malt, Nadine cleared her throat and looked up at him. He was gazing down at her, his dark eyes twinkling, looking so perfectly drool-worthy that she forgot for a moment what he just said and stared up at him, absently taking another small sip of the scotch.

And then she remembered and choked on it again.

His eyes danced with mirth and she could tell he was having a hard time not laughing at her, which just irritated her more. She was still hacking up a lung when he rocked back a step, probably not wanting to press his luck at not getting spit all over that designer sweater, and pulled a card out of his wallet.

"Here." He held it between two long fingers, and she took it without even thinking about it. "My card. Give me a call if you're interested."

And with that, he pulled away, slipped his hands into his pockets, and sauntered out of the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is Your Song | 2**

"Hey!"

He had barely left the room before Nadine was on her feet and running after him. Johnny turned just slightly, looking over his shoulder and seeing her coming, and stepped into the hallway that led out to the back door so that they could be alone when she inevitably started yelling.

Women. They'd be so much more pleasant to have around if they weren't always yelling.

He turned around once they were safely out of sight, shooting her a bland look as she came huffing and puffing up behind him.

"Yes?"

Nadine jabbed a finger in his face while simultaneously blowing her bangs out of her eyes. "You! Who do you think you are?"

Johnny arched a brow. "Well, I thought that was abundantly clear by now."

"You – You!" She continued to jab her finger at him. "I don't know who you think you are, but you do not just get to walk up to women and ask them for sex!"

"Why?" He tilted his head to the side and leaned in, as if they were sharing a secret. "Do you not like sex?"

"I like sex just fine, thank you," Nadine retorted before she remembered herself. "I mean – no! You don't get to ask me that, just like you don't get to ask me for sex, no matter how many single-malts you ply me with."

"To be fair, you've only tried the one here, and that's the only good-quality one Coleman stocks," he mused aloud. "And really, you've just scratched the surface in the world of high-quality malts. Nicked the outermost layer of paint on the ball on top of the tallest antenna on the Empire State…"

But she was in no mood. "Look, it was really nice of you to buy me a drink, but asking me for sex was a horrible thing to do and I'm not like that, and you know what? I take offense. I really do. I take offense and-and I should report you or something! I don't know who I'd report you to but I'd report you to someone! And then where would your fancy Armani sweaters get you? Hm? Would they get you very far? No."

He was smiling down at her, looking so perfectly unconcerned that he would soon have to register as a sex offender and introduce himself to all the neighbors that she had to pause for a breath.

Hesitantly, Nadine tucked her hair behind her ear and folded her arms over her chest. "…What made you ask in the first place?"

Her natural curiosity charmed him even more, and before she had time to react, Johnny leaned in and kissed her. Nadine gasped into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to slip his lower lip in between hers as his hand came up to press at the small of her back.

It wasn't a forceful kiss, though it was firm and direct. His hand was on her back, even though he would have given her every opportunity to pull away, and his nose bumped sweetly against hers. And it was over before Nadine had any time to reflect on anything but how pleasant it really was, how warm he was, and the complex taste of him, long before she had a chance to be offended even though she really should have been.

She stared up at him when he pulled back, his eyes dark and heavy lidded, and his words fanned out over her lips.

"You feel that?"

Nadine didn't respond, mostly because she was still stinging slightly from the powerful spark, the raw attraction she instantly felt between them, even while knowing it was absolutely ridiculous.

Johnny arched a brow and pulled his hand to her side, causing her to miss his warmth before Nadine could stop herself.

"That's why. Since I first saw you, I knew it would be there."

Somehow, she found her voice. "I – I don't even know your name."

His chin lifted just a notch if it wasn't her imagination. "…Johnny Zacchara."

Her jaw dropped. It just plain dropped and she was left gaping stupidly up at him as if he'd just announced that he was Batman. The idea of either man being interested in her really was shocking and entirely impossible, though, truthfully and in her defense.

"Johnny…Zacchara?" She hated how she squeaked his last name, but _damn_, this was Johnny Zacchara! "You can't be."

"That was my thinking initially," he replied dryly. "But I've had twenty-some odd years to fully investigate the matter and as it happens, my story checks out."

She was in no mood for his stupid rich boy humor. Shit, she really shouldn't call him stupid – not when he was freaking Johnny Zacchara, one of the most powerful alleged mobsters on the East Coast and a Page Six favorite.

But instead of listing all the reasons that she couldn't see him and that this was a horrible idea, she just stared up at him like an idiot.

Amazingly, he seemed to understand and withdrew a little. If she had to hazard a guess, Nadine would say that he was used to people distancing themselves from him once they found out who he was. It must have been a pretty lonely way to live.

"You have my card," he said, keeping his voice light, and she watched at the leering glint that distinguished him as quite the playboy returned to his eyes. "So you can think about it and let me know. But remember…"

He drew close enough so that she could catch a whiff of his spicy cologne, and Nadine's lashes fluttered. He seemed pleased at the reaction he elicited and the corner of his mouth curved up in a cocky little smirk.

"I always get what I want…and I want you."

Her breath caught in her throat at those impossible words, and Johnny pulled away and headed out of the bar, never once looking back.


	3. Chapter 3

**This Is Your Song | 03**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

"_Why me?"_

Johnny sat up straight and switched his phone to the other ear. "Excuse me? Who is this?"

"_Why me?"_ she repeated, and he remembered her voice. _"Why did you come up to me and say all that stuff? Why me?"_

He smiled at the genuine curiosity and bewilderment in her voice and moved over to the couch in his office. He settled back on the cushions and cleared his throat.

"Why you?"

"_That's what I said!"_

Johnny had to smirk at that. "All right. If you have to know. First…I think you're beautiful."

"_Oh-"_

"Second," he pushed on before she could properly reply, "you're single just like me."

He heard Nadine gasp. _"How could you know that? For all you know, I have a boyfriend that I'm madly in love with."_

"But you don't," Johnny reminded her. "Third, you're nice and seem like a sweet girl, from what I've seen."

"_From what you've seen?! Stalk-"_

"Fourth, you have a room right above Jake's, across the hall from mine, so it would be very convenient."

"_Well, I guess that's-"_

"Fifth, your life is hectic and your work is stressful, just like mine."

"_Being a nurse isn't the same as being a-"_

"And finally, you're discreet." He drummed his fingers on the armrest of the antique Victorian couch. "You care about your privacy and spending time by yourself and not having to report to anyone. That means something to me."

"_Well, I don't see how-"_

"Also, there's one more thing you should know." Johnny cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. "I only want you if you don't want something serious. Because I can't give anything more than that."

He clicked his phone off before she could say another word and got up, heading back to his desk to finish the day's work.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Jake's, upstairs :.**

"I don't know anything about you."

She could see the surprise on his face and didn't blame him. After all, she'd kind of just knocked on his door and said that to his face the second he opened. Now that they'd had a second to stare at each other, Nadine realized that Johnny was in the process of getting dressed, and she caught a glimpse of his chest hair as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know anything about you," she repeated calmly. When she'd called him from the hospital, she'd been frazzled and preoccupied and he'd been in control. And she was starting to think that control was an important thing when dealing with one Johnny Zacchara. "You've been watching me for God only knows how long, so you've had your chance to learn all you wanted to about me. I didn't have that opportunity. And besides, you can hardly expect me to seriously consider sleeping with anyone without knowing anything about them."

God, she sounded like such a slut. But she knew he wouldn't mind; if anything, he'd find the brazenness attractive. It wasn't even that she was seriously trying to make up her mind at this point (okay, maybe it was) but she just wanted to know more about this guy that would think nothing of walking up to her and telling her he wanted to do her. A couple guys had tried that before, truthfully, but Nadine had never met anyone that had done it the way he did.

She could tell he was still surprised, but he recovered nicely. Hesitation probably didn't go over well in his world.

"I can't." He adjusted his sleeves, tugging them into place, and folded his arms over his chest. "I can't tell you anything about myself. Revealing personal information like that gets you killed in my world. Allegedly."

Nadine managed a half-smile at the way he absently tossed that word in at the end, and shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "All right. I have my answer then – and also, yours."

And she truly believed that – she truly believed that she had ended it and was in the free and clear, safe from his random requests for sex – but he surprised her just then by proving able to stop her with his voice alone.

"Wait."

Slowly, she turned on her heel and looked back at him from under her bangs. Johnny shifted uneasily and finally cleared his throat.

"I'm an ass."

That earned him a half-smile, but Nadine soon saw that Johnny was serious.

"I only look out for myself and my own interests," he informed her plainly. "Other people that I'm not personally invested in don't merit a second thought. I don't trust people, and it takes years and more effort than it's worth for people to get close to me."

She slipped her hands in her pockets and crept closer, wanting to hear this for reasons entirely beyond her. Oddly enough, the fact that she drew closer seemed to encourage him.

"I don't know how to keep friends," he shrugged, "which is probably why I don't have any that aren't on my payroll. I'm ruthless. I can't tell you how many people I've mowed over to get to the smallest thing I want."

Nadine bit her lip and kept listening.

"I'm selfish," Johnny announced, tilting his chin up a notch. "I don't let anyone truly into my life unless they jump through figurative hoops of fire…sometimes, jumping through literal ones will do the trick."

He'd made a joke and she almost smiled, but then he was serious again.

"I'm unforgiving. Lose my trust once and you don't have a shot at getting it back. I've got a really, inexcusably dirty mouth."

Well, that didn't matter so much. Even though she didn't curse much herself (occupational hazard of spending one's days with impressionable children) she hardly found it unattractive on a man.

Johnny leaned closer, his eyes glittering and tone suggestive. "I'm rough and I'm aggressive, and I have a hard time not doing things exactly the way I want to. I'm secretive – very secretive. I have a terrible temper. I lie to myself so often about the realities of my world and as justification for my deeds that I've started believing all the lies. And I'm fiercely protective of my freedom and will defend it at whatever the cost."

Almost everything he said was the exact opposite of how she was as a person – sweet, generous, compassionate to a fault, trusting, friendly, accessible, forgiving, gentle, flexible and open – and Nadine nodded.

She smiled gently and took her hands out of her pockets. "You're also honest."

Giving him one last look, she started backing away and felt warm shivers run up her spine when he actually reached out and grabbed her hand. The contact was electric and her stunned blue eyes flew to his sober brown ones immediately. When he spoke, his voice was softer and his stance was a little less rigid.

"I'm gentle to those that are gentle to me," he told her quietly, refusing to relinquish his hold on her hand. "I protect with my life those people that willingly enter my world. I'm loyal to the end."

Her hand was tingling in his but she didn't want to move it, because maybe he'd untangle his fingers then and pull away.

"I'm faithful," he said simply, not caring to elaborate on what precisely he meant by that with respect to their proposed relationship. "I'm generous to the people I feel deserve it, I'm extremely well-mannered in public. I'm well read, witty, and I know how to have a good time."

Johnny wiggled his fingers playfully with hers and flashed her that familiar, leering grin that somehow didn't look or feel bad. "What do you have to say to that?"

Nadine knew he was expecting an answer about his proposal and replied with a smile. "Thank you."

Proud of herself for leaving him staring stupidly at her for once, she turned on her heel and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

**This Is Your Song | 04**

**.: General Hospital :.**

Longest, suckiest day at work ever.

And to think, she'd been soooo ecstatic when she was promoted to Senior Pediatric Nurse.

Nadine sighed and glared at the back of Epiphany's head. Her fellow nurse – who didn't even outrank her anymore! – had been an absolute bitch all day. At one point it had been amusing, like when she would yell at stupid candy stripers like Maxie and Lulu for not doing their damn jobs, but now it was getting really old and just made her want to after Epiphany with surgical scalpels.

Epiphany had been in rare form and had yelled at her all day, even though she had no authority to do so. Nadine had already drafted a letter to Doctor Ford and would submit it tomorrow morning, and hopefully this insanity would stop. She wasn't one of Epiphany's nurses and she wouldn't stand to be treated that way, especially in front of the nurses on her team, the ones she presided over just like Epiphany presided over Leyla and Elizabeth.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, today was Lulu's day to work. The younger woman was an absolutely shrew on her best days and a complete twit on her worst, and Nadine just wanted to smack her. She was here at the hub now, messing things up and whining and trying to get out of her shift. Really, it was one of her better days. On her worse days, she nearly killed people with her sheer ineptitude.

God, she just wanted to get out of here so badly and just let off some steam. She didn't know how, though. She could take a bubble bath, but Leyla and Regina were the noisiest roommates ever, and sometimes it was like she just couldn't relax at that house. She could go to Jake's and play pool or drink, but she didn't want to be hit on by creepy dockworkers that thought buying her a drink meant they could grope her ass like a ripe melon.

At least Regina wouldn't be home tonight, though. This was normally one of two or three nights a week that she hooked up with Cassius, and they couldn't get her to shut up about how great it was to have a casual fling to really release some stress.

Nadine's eyes narrowed as she watched her friend work like Epiphany was standing there with a whip instead of a few insults, and considered it again.

She still had Johnny Zacchara's card in her purse…

No, no, what was she thinking? He was the absolute last boy in the world that she wanted to get involved with. He was a mobster and snooty and an ass and…

…so incredibly lick-able.

No, no, she wouldn't go there.

…Except, she'd never ever gone there in her life, so wasn't she due? Maybe? What was wrong with having hookups instead of only relationships? She was the kind of girl that _only_ had relationships, and she was currently single with no serious prospects in mind, so maybe it wouldn't be too crazy to hook up with Johnny until her circumstances changed.

That wasn't too crazy, right?

And he was honest with her, at any rate, and he was up front about his intentions and even though he was kind of an ass, he had good qualities and it wasn't like she'd get involved in his mob business. And he was just soooo damn good looking.

They could probably hook up a couple times if they kept it discreet, and she knew that wouldn't be a problem as far as he was concerned.

So maybe…

"Nurse Crowell, please, feel free to move at a glacial pace, you know how much I love that."

She gritted her teeth at Epiphany's voice and slammed her pen down on the counter. "Actually, since this is paperwork for _your_ nurses, who aren't here, why don't _you_ finish it? I have to go to the lab and print something."

Maybe she'd turn that letter in a little early. And maybe, while she was alone in the lab, she'd give a certain someone a call.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Jake's :.**

Oh, God, she had no idea how to do this.

She'd never had a one-night-stand before. Or a casual sex-only, no-strings relationship. She was the two straws in a milkshake girl, and even though she'd been forced to outgrow that when her relationships never went anywhere, and even though she was ready to be an adult and indulge her desires without letting it get out of hand, she still had no idea how to do this.

Should she go to his room first? Hers? Should she take a shower? Bring some food over? Should she just jump him? Should she let him take the lead and seduce her or something? Oh, God, she hoped she didn't burst out laughing if he tried to seduce her. That would be bad.

Nadine was so caught up in these worries that she didn't hear the door open and she didn't see Johnny until he'd grabbed her wrist and yanked her in. His room was entirely dark and he slammed the door quickly, plunging them even further into darkness. It only took a second for his strong, hard frame to have her backed up against the rough wood door, and she could only smell the citrus from his cologne and the raw, coppery, entirely masculine smell of him. His jeans felt rough even through her scrubs, and Nadine bit back a little groan when his sharp stubble rasped against her skin.

Johnny's mouth was just a scant distance from hers, and she could actually _feel_ him grinning at her before he captured her lips with his own.

"Jesus, I thought you'd never get here."

Nadine laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her hard, and for the first time let herself think that maybe – just maybe – this wouldn't be so difficult after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Johnny's Room :.**

She woke up slowly, lazily, under protest, and found herself comfortably settled in his bed. For a rich boy with professed exquisite taste, Johnny Zacchara kept things plain and simple in the bedroom. His bedsheets were white and cotton, no fuss, and she found that she liked that. In a weird, paradoxical way, it suited him and…this.

Nadine stretched out fully, pointing her toes and lifting her arms over her head, and let out a contented sigh as she nestled back against the sheets. Johnny was sleeping behind her, flat on his back, one arm slung across her pillow. She'd been using it as a rest for her head.

He was absolutely amazing.

Every single bit as good as she'd hoped he'd be, and Nadine was ridiculously glad that she'd pushed herself out of her comfort zone and gone for it. Regina was definitely on to something: a good roll in the sack was the best stress reliever ever, and all the shit that had happened at work seemed so distant, so far away.

Oh, man, the boy was good. He'd even made her forget about Epiphany and the massive stick up her butt.

Nadine stretched a little more, wiggling now as she tried to get comfortable, and knew she'd be sore tomorrow. Oh, well. She'd just take a hot shower before bed and maybe a painkiller or two. And besides, it had been worth it.

Johnny was rough and aggressive, completely focused on what he wanted, and wasn't like any other boy she'd ever slept with. He wasn't inconsiderate, either, as she'd worried for a moment that he might be. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted from her, what he needed for himself, while giving it back.

Yeah, she had a feeling that this non-relationship was going to work out very, very well for the both of them if this first time was any indication. It was possible that he was on his best behavior so as to ensure that they'd be doing this again, but somehow, she doubted it. He didn't seem like he was like that. Every movement had been so graceful, so practiced and deliberate, that she had to figure he was just really, really good at having sex and that was all there was to it.

Besides, from what she'd heard, he certainly had practiced often enough.

Nadine would have giggled at that, but she didn't want to risk waking him up. She settled back down, his arm warm under her head, and slipped a hand under the pillow, thinking that she was lucky it was this easy and uncomfortable.

That is, until she felt the cold, hard metal in her hand.

There was a loop and she stuck her finger through it, frowning as she slowly pulled it out. She dangled it in front of her face and found herself staring at a silver Glock, fully loaded, safety on.

"Put it back."

His voice, rough with sleep but still firm, startled her and she twisted around to look at him. Johnny gave her a stern look and Nadine quickly slipped the gun back under the pillow, right where she'd find it.

"I have to keep it there."

She cleared her throat and settled onto her back, better able to look at him now. "Apparently."

He sighed but let her continue using his arm as a pillow, running the fingers of his free hand through his dark, mussed hair. "I never know when I'm going to need it. When I'm at Jake's…well, it's not like when I'm at my house. Crimson Manor is a fortress. Not even a groundhog can burrow on the grounds without us knowing about it. No one gets in or out without being seen and allowed. At Jake's, I take my security into my own hands."

"And that means a gun under a pillow."

He rolled his eyes and was surprised when she smacked his chest lightly with her hand.

"No, I'm serious," Nadine assured him. "I wasn't making fun. I get it. You need some way to protect yourself here. I get it."

Johnny's eyes narrowed as he looked at her assessingly, finally finding her sincere. "Yeah. I have to be prepared, no matter what. Which brings me to…the ground rules."

One of her eyebrows lifted. "The ground rules?"

He rolled up on his side, bracing a hand on the mattress between them to keep his balance, and nodded. "The ground rules if we're going to make this a regular thing. First, don't ask me questions about the business."

Nadine snorted. "Oh, please. I bet it's really boring, anyway."

That dissipated some of the tension, and Johnny smirked indulgently down at her all day. "Oh, it is."

"How _do_ you pass the day?" she murmured, enjoying teasing him.

He was still smiling. "Second, if our plans fall through unexpectedly at the last minute because of me, that's just how it'll be. I can't really do anything about it."

"Be prepared to be stood up. Got it."

He played with a loose curl and continued. "And last thing, this stays quiet. It stays between us. No one else can know."

"Because it reflects poorly on you." She squealed when he grabbed her and was still giggling as he nipped on her bottom lip.

"No, because it's a matter of security."

"I know, I know," she assured him. "Contrary to what you might think, your alleged mob involvement isn't all that big a mystery to me. I've seen the Godfather. I know how it goes. We keep this quiet so that I can't be used to get to you in any way. Got it."

He looked at her strangely but when he saw that she meant it and, what was more, she was actually sincere and unoffended, Johnny finally relaxed. "You know, you can back out of this now if you want. I'm giving you an out."

"Well…" To his disappointment before he realized she was pretending, Nadine considered it. "The sex isn't all that bad, so I'm in for now."

He laughed as she flashed him one last smile before reluctantly slipping out of bed and pulling on her scrubs.

"I'd stay, but tonight's my night to handle dinner at the house," she explained, making sure she didn't leave anything behind. Nadine listened at the door and waited until another boarder entered his room and closed the door before she slipped out into the hall.

"Later, Zacchara."

"You know it, Crowell."


	5. Chapter 5

**This Is Your Song | 05**

**.: Jake's Bar & Billiards :.**

_A couple weeks later…_

"You're just…I don't know." Leyla waved her hand in the air, struggling for a word. "Different?"

"Yeah?" Nadine took a pull from her bottle and couldn't help but grin. "Different, how?"

"Well…" This time, it was Lainey's turn to puzzle over the gradual transformation. "I guess I'd say that you seem more…at ease with everything. Less frazzled, bouncier. More energetic, more…confident."

"She means, flirtier," Kelly grinned, playing with her bottle. "That unmistakable extra spring in a woman's step. So tell us, girl, what have you been doing?"

"Nothing," Nadine laughed, glancing up at the counter a few paces away where Johnny Zacchara sat casually on a bar stool, flipping through his messages on his phone. "I guess…well, I think I just discovered how much I like hanging out at Jake's with everyone."

It was a bland enough statement, easily applicable to any number of people, but Johnny turned just enough to shoot her an amused look.

Nadine shrugged coyly, mostly for his benefit, and took a sip from her bottle while glancing slyly over in his direction. "I mean, everyone needs a place like that, right? A place to just hang out and have fun. It's definitely where I come to…unwind."

The girls didn't notice, but Johnny discreetly lifted his glass to her before downing the two gulps of scotch. Phone still in hand, he slid off the barstool and wandered over to the stairs, disappearing from view.

"I guess," Kelly muttered, a little disappointed at the answer. She had figured that Nadine would say she'd just bought a really nice BOB – battery operated boyfriend, of course – or something fun like that. "A lot of excitement over one little bar, though."

Nadine shrugged. "I can't help it. I just like it here. You know, you meet the most interesting people at bars like this. I mean, I met you guys here."

"That's true," Leyla murmured. "You know, I almost forgot that. The three of us – me, you, Gina – we all met…over there. By the jukebox."

"Yeah, you were playing that awful Madonna music," Regina laughed, poking the Iranian nurse. "Someone had to stop you. And then Nadine came over to break up the fight and suggest Bon Jovi instead."

She laughed at the memory. "Yeah, and look what happened: we've been rooming together for a while now."

"Speaking of rooming, I'd better get back to mine," Leyla sighed, downing the last of her drink. "Tonight's the night that my mum always calls, and she'll cry if I sound 'too drunk' or if I miss it entirely. Gotta go, ladies. Gina, you coming?"

Regina nodded and stood quickly, pulling on her jacket. "Yeah. You're my ride, aren't you? Let's go."

Nadine and Kelly stayed on for a bit after that, until Kelly admitted that she had plans with a guy she knew later that night, so she'd better get going. Nadine nodded along, playing it casual, and as soon as Kelly was gone, she beat a straight path to the stairs.

No one was in the hall when she got up to the second level, and she quickly let herself in her room. Nadine stopped in the doorway for a moment, smiling when she saw him, then stepped in and kicked the door shut with her heel before any one else could.

Johnny Zacchara, dressed in the customary black jeans and expensive sweater, was lounging on her bed as if he damn well belonged there, tossing Hello Stinky up in the air to himself. He grinned when he saw her, that familiar, quirky, lop-sided grin that always made her want to tackle him.

"Well, thank God, I thought they'd never leave."

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: The Old Crowell House :.**

She was trying to focus on the article in her medical journal – the one about OSA and sleepiness in obese children – and Gina and Leyla were making that very difficult.

Currently, those two jerks were arguing about whose turn it was to do the dishes and mop the kitchen floor. Kitchen work was the most loathed chore in the house, and Gina was claiming that she covered for Leyla last week when she had to leave town, but Leyla said that the floor was still dirty when she got back and so she had to mop it again, which she felt should exclude her from the running.

Before long, those twits would be wandering over to her relatively quiet nook in the family room and demanding that she settle the argument as primary tenant, and Nadine was in no mood for that. She hunkered down on the window seat, burying her nose in the journal, but it did little good.

Leyla and Regina found her, as she knew they would, and were standing in front of her with their hands on their hips in matching poses.

"Nadine, we need you to settle something for us."

"And keep in mind that we're not shirking our responsibilities, we're just trying to make sure no one unfairly doubles up."

"Unfairly doubles up?" Regina squawked. "Listen, whore-"

Nadine was saved from having to mediate this mess by her phone, which let out a chirp at the arrival of a new text message. She flipped it open and saw that it was from him.

_Jake's?_

The corner of her mouth hooked up and Nadine tossed the journal onto the couch as she hopped off the window seat. "Sorry, guys, you'll have to figure this out on your own. I have to be somewhere ten minutes ago."

Regina and Leyla stared after her as she grabbed her coat and keys and just sailed on out the front door.

"She sure has plans a lot more often now, doesn't she?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Johnny's Room :.**

She was folded up in his arms afterward, staring at the ceiling and listening to him breathe rhythmically under her, and it was all very nice. She loved having a place to get away from everything, and oddly enough, that place had turned out to be Johnny.

Their arrangement was working out very well, and they'd even forged the oddest of friendships. He was still distant sometimes, not calling her for a couple days after a few consecutive nights spent together, but that honestly didn't bother her.

It wasn't as if she was dating the boy. Jeez.

No, she was just fine with how it was. And if pressed, she'd admit that she liked the freedom of not having to always check up on someone to see how they were, or run plans by them or whatever. She liked that she and Johnny just came (ha) and went, and that it was all comfortable and unpretentious. And so far, she hadn't even heard a single word related to his mob business, and she was glad for that. Her job was stressful enough, thank you, without adding his illegal activities to it.

They were sprawled out on the bed now, he on his back and she on her side, curled into him, and Johnny was playing with a silver dollar. He'd barely hold it between his pinky and ring finger, then roll his fingers so that the coin passed to the crevice between his ring and middle finger, and so on, back and forth, back and forth.

She watched him languidly, finding the action entirely hypnotic, and finally broke the spell. "What are you doing?"

"Agility exercise."

"What for?"

His thumb skittered along the curve of her hip. "For shooting my gun."

Her eyes widened and Nadine actually rose to gape at him, but was met with Johnny's teasing smirk. He laughed and pulled her back down against him again. "Actually, I started doing this when I started taking piano lessons, and I kept it up. It's proved very helpful."

"Hm." She watched him continue playing with it. "I should have known. You're doing it with your left hand."

"So?" Johnny asked, quirking a brow at her.

"Well, you shoot with your right hand…I assume."

"Actually, I shoot with both hands." He grinned lasciviously at her, and Nadine blushed fiercely before she could help it.

"Oh, shut up."

Johnny laughed at her again and they lay there quietly for a long moment. Presently, Nadine broke the silence, as Johnny knew she would.

"You know, I've always wanted to play the piano. But I never did."

Johnny almost resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Everyone said that.

She yawned and turned her face into his neck, sleepy now. "Hm. You should play something for me sometime."

"Uh…" He couldn't think of an answer to that innocuous request fast enough and ended up grunting stupidly for a second. Johnny played the piano for himself only, not even for his sister. He felt it was an extremely personal exercise of an instrument, far too intimate and displaying too much vulnerability, and guarded it as such. "There's nothing to play on here."

She was half-asleep already; he could tell by the sound of her voice and her slow, rhythmic breathing. "Mm. Piano downstairs…"

"Uh, yeah." His fingers trailed up the side of her arm and then back down again. "Maybe sometime."

He had no intention of ever playing anything for her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: General Hospital :.**

Leyla and Regina stood with Elizabeth at the hub, idly watching Nadine in the waiting area as they waited for their colleague to finish printing off the charts they needed.

"You know, I don't get her," Regina admitted, propping her chin up in her hand. "I mean, she just got promoted, what, a month ago, two months, to what's basically Epiphany's job but in Pedes, and she's…fine."

"Cool as a cucumber," Leyla agreed. "I'll admit, I'm frazzled at the end of a shift here, and she's got much more work than I do but somehow, she keeps her head about here."

"Yeah, I wonder what's up with her."

Elizabeth joined them as she passed off the charts, and all three women watched Nadine. She sat on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, with a medical journal in one hand and the fingers of her other hand moving relentlessly with a silver dollar poised between them.

Elizabeth smirked before turning away. "Who knows? Maybe it's all that time she spends at Jake's."

Leyla frowned at her back as the nurse drew away, leaving the hub, and turned to her best friend. "Was she laughing or coughing just now"


	6. Chapter 6

**This Is Your Song | 06**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

He'd just sent his lawyer away because Trevor was getting on his nerves but Claudia remained, perched on the corner of his desk. She was staying on at the house for a while, though he had no idea why. She spouted some bullshit about wanting to make sure he was taken care of and all that, but that didn't signify. He didn't need a mother, he hadn't had a sister in a decade, and he'd already made it very clear to her that she wasn't getting a single piece of the business their father had left to him.

He just wished she'd go back home to Milan and leave him alone. She'd perfected that art over the last fifteen years.

"All I'm saying is that Corinthos and Morgan are definitely planning a strike against you," Claudia was saying, "and it would be dumb of you not to be prepared. It won't go away just because you're ignoring it. Why won't you do anything?"

"What I do or don't do is none of your business," he told her sternly, sitting back in his chair. "Remember that."

She pursed her lips in irritation, but he didn't care. His sister clearly thought he was an imbecile, so he'd decided to stop arguing with her and just not tell her anything about the business. Claudia was worried that he was dumb enough to ignore Sonny and Jason and the threat they posed, but the truth was, Johnny was five steps ahead of all of them.

Because he knew the one thing Jason Morgan didn't want anyone else to know: that he had a secret child with that one nurse at the hospital, the one that worked with Nadine. That twit had told Jason, according to Johnny's sources, that their child would be safer if no one knew Jason was its father. Jason, being a brain damaged fool, agreed and backed off. What that idiot Webber woman didn't realize was that just because she pretended her child's father was her ex-husband instead of her ex-lover didn't make it so, and that the secret wouldn't just disappear.

The secret would remain until someone like him stumbled upon it, and all she'd done was leave herself and her child completely vulnerable to attack. If Jason did anything to the Zacchara organization, Johnny wouldn't hesitate to take the child. If Jason really came on strong, Johnny knew he'd probably kill the boy, knowing it would just destroy Jason, and that was what he would want in that event. Maybe he'd kidnap the nurse, too. He hadn't decided.

This was why he stayed away from any kind of long-term attachment to women, especially weak, foolish women like Elizabeth Webber who pretended they could handle the life and then ran away at the first sign of trouble – or the first blue line on a pregnancy test. Women like that were liabilities and if Jason Morgan had been stupid enough to get involved with that dumb woman, he deserved what he got.

And this was precisely why Johnny kept things so strictly contained with Nadine. He never told her anything about the business and she never asked. She didn't freak out when she saw him loading his gun, either, and she didn't freak out when she saw all his scars when they were in bed together. He liked that about her. Liked that a lot.

"Hello? John? Helllllo?"

Claudia was snapping her fingers at him and shot him a peevish look when he finally glanced up. "What are you daydreaming about?"

"Nothing," he replied briskly, pulling his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed. "Don't you have something to do?"

She looked offended but he didn't really care, mostly because he'd just opened up his text message and saw that the newest one was from hers.

_Jake's. Now._

Ooh, he liked it when she was bossy.

He snapped his phone shut and stood immediately, rounding the corner of the desk and heading toward the door. "I have to go."

"What?" Claudia stared after him, clearly confused. "Where are you going? John? John!"

He ignored her and grabbed his coat from the rack in the foyer, picked up his keys, and left the house.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Jake's Bar & Billiards :.**

"Thanks for calling, Coleman." That Iranian nurse was at the counter, taking a black sweater that Coleman handed her. "I can't believe I left it here. I'm surprised Nadine didn't take it, though."

"Well, your friend was in here earlier," the bartender offered. "Didn't stay long enough to see your stuff, though. No, the kitten downed a whiskey fasted than you could blink and went upstairs."

Leyla frowned at that, checking a page from the hospital with a grimace. "Was she all right?"

Johnny didn't wait to hear an answer and just slipped over to the stairs without being noticed. He took them up two at a time and, making sure no one else was around, let himself into Nadine's room.

She was prowling like a caged animal, pacing back and forth and occasionally kicking things out of her way, and the little snip actually had the nerve to glare at him when he entered. Johnny watched her for a minute, unsure as to how to best proceed, and reminded himself that when women were angry, they didn't want problem-solvers, they wanted someone to listen and empathize.

Okay, he could do this.

Maybe.

Eh, what the hell? He'd try and maybe he'd come out of it not having been a total asshole, in which case it would be a good day for both of them.

"So…what's got you so pissed off?"

Nadine kicked at the empty wastebasket and sent it scuttling over the carpet. "Ergh!"

"Well, yes, there's that," Johnny allowed mildly. "Any reason that involves, perhaps, more syllables?"

Easy, John Boy, sarcasm wouldn't go over too well. Nor would clear, sharp wit. Women just didn't seem to appreciate that sort of thing, in his experience.

"That stupid twit Lulu Spencer," Nadine growled, her hands curled into fists as she paced. "She's this stupid little candy-striper and I have no idea why she even works at the hospital, but she messed up all my patient charts. Like, completely messed them up. And then Epiphany yelled at me and you know what? I don't even work under her, so she can go screw herself. And then of course, I look like a bitch when I go complain to Doctor Ford that she needs to manage her own team instead of getting in my face, because it's like, ohhhh, we love Epiphany, she rocks and she tells it like it is. Well, you know what? Shut up, jerks! That's what!"

Johnny watched her quietly, wondering why she couldn't just cuss a blue streak like normal people.

"And then Elizabeth tried to cheer me up but she did it in that patronizing sort of way like she expected _me_ to go apologize to her and I was like, look, just because you're everyone's doormat doesn't mean I have to be but I didn't say that to her but I gave her my bitch, please, look, and then she gave me her bitch, please, look and then we both just walked away because nothing is worse than a bitch, please, stand-off."

He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but Johnny figured that he owed it to her to be supporting and empathetic and…nice. Nadine was a great girl and he was probably not at all like her typical doting boyfriends of years past, so he could probably make an effort.

"Hey." Johnny approached slowly, holding out his hand. "C'mere."

Nadine took his hand and let him pull her close, and Johnny slipped one arm around her waist, using the other to cup her chin and tilt her head back. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, gentle and soothing, and felt her slowly bring her hands up to his chest, resting them there until-

"Whoa!"

Johnny was entirely unprepared for when Nadine grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and fairly flung him down onto her bed. He would never have thought she had the strength to do that, much less the nerve, and he could only gape up at her as she leapt on top of him. His legs hung off the bed a little, his feet six inches off the ground, meaning he couldn't get the leverage to boost himself up and unseat her.

Nadine snarled before leaning in, her hair tumbling over her shoulders and tickling his neck, and kissed him hard. Johnny grabbed her waist and his hips bucked off the bed, trying to topple her, but Nadine just planted her knees in the mattress and refused to budge. She nipped at his lips, her fingers frantically undoing the buttons of his shirt as Johnny squirmed, unused to her aggression.

She had his shirt parted and raked her nails all the way down his chest, stopping at the buckle of his jeans. Nadine distracted him by biting the spot where his neck met his shoulder, and Johnny groaned and arched his neck to give her better access. He felt her lips there at the same time that he felt her pop the button on his jeans and slowly lower the zipper over the gentle bulge under the denim.

Johnny kicked out his legs, trying to boost himself up once more, but it was futile. Damn it. Meanwhile, Nadine, who was clearly on to his attempts to overtake her, wasn't having any of it. She swept her fingers under the elastic band of his boxer briefs, then impatiently tugged on his jeans.

"Off."

Johnny smirked lazily at her. "You know, you're going to have to move if you want me to-"

"Off!"

He actually jumped a little at her enraged shriek and hurried shoved at his jeans and underwear. "All right, all right, Jesus, woman."

He had them down around his thighs when Nadine, clearly impatient, shoved them down to his knees, not even fully letting him take them off. She braced her hands on his broad shoulders and shoved, pinning him down to the mattress, when he tried to take advantage of the moment and quickly slip out from under her.

Johnny tried to growl ferociously and scare her off him, but the effect was ruined because Nadine chose that moment to lightly trace her fingertips over the line where his pelvis met his leg, in that special way of hers that got him hard every damned time.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, her eyes glowing, and without any fuss or preamble captured his lips again. Johnny grappled with her shirt, managing to pull it off and over her shoulders and send it flying. His hands were on her skin, squeezing and probing and frantic, and he slipped his thumbs into the loops of her jeans and tugged hard.

Nadine straightened, straddling him now, and quickly undid her jeans. She shoved them down and kicked them off, sending them to the floor, and wrapped her hand around him before he could even _think_ of tossing her down onto the bed.

Johnny groaned when she squeezed him, moving up and down the length of him. He'd have preferred it if she'd greased up before that, but seriously, who'd engaged in handjobs since middle school? That was what he thought. Not that he was complaining, though. Sex was sex. When it was good, it was amazing and when it was boring or bad, it was still much better than nothing. And when it was a solo act, it was more convenient than anything else, but that was neither here nor there.

Nadine removed her hand only long enough to grab a condom from under her pillow and in a minute she had him ready. She slid onto him smoothly, slowly, until they were fully joined, and only when she was ready did she start moving. Johnny bucked helplessly, but it was no use: with the way he was sprawled out on the bed, his feet kicking off the edge, there was no way he could control the intensity or tempo. This was all hers.

Nadine moved smoothly and quickly, her hands braced on his shoulders for balance, and Johnny did his best to hold off for as long as he could. Just when he was seriously thinking that the battle was lost, he felt her muscles tighten around him and Nadine went impossibly stiff before she relaxed and fell half on top of him, her breathing shallow and coming fast.

He followed her within seconds, throwing his head back, and relaxed into the mattress with her still on top. Her hand rested on his chest and her head was on his shoulder, and her breathing was finally starting to return to normal.

Johnny slung an arm lazily around her waist and pinched her up, speaking up when he was finally able. "…Jesus, you could have at least warned me."

Nadine laughed. "And where would the fun have been in that?"

He grinned despite himself and managed to scoot back on the bed, her body still weighing down on him. It took him a minute to kick off his shoes, socks, and jeans, and he helped her with hers, too, then pulled her back down against him as they settled onto the pillows.

"You know, maybe I should give Lulu some pocket money and have her piss you off like this more often," he grinned, skimming his fingers up and down the curve of her shoulder the way he knew she liked.

Nadine let out a bark of laughter and cuddled closer, her lips brushing against his collarbone as her arm wrapped over his stomach and grasped his side. "If you ever got within ten feet of Lulu, she'd jump you worse than I did. Or better, I guess, depending on how you look at it…"

"…What? What are you talking about?"

"Lulu's been in love with you forever," Nadine stated frankly, arching a brow at him with a smirk. "What, you haven't noticed?"

His expression made it clear that he hadn't.

"She's had a huuuuuge thing for you ever since you backed the Haunted Star," she continued, her eyes sparkling when he made a face. "You are all she talks about."

Johnny groaned and looked away, making her laugh.

"Oh, come on," Nadine teased, poking his chest. "You love it. You love the attention and the endless worship."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't want to be worshipped by _anyone_. Period. We're all…we're all drawn to idolize what's bigger and more powerful and good than we are, and the first two might work for me, but not the last one. I know exactly what I am and the third one puts me out of the running. I don't want to be treated like I'm something I'm not, and I know I'm not a good person."

Nadine remained silent for a moment before she rolled her eyes and settled comfortably against him, content to let the conversation just fade away. He was such a freaking drama queen sometimes.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

Claudia headed into the foyer when she heard the front door open and sure enough, there was Johnny. He stripped off his coat and tossed it onto one of the couches in the foyer before heading for the stairs.

"John, there you are!"

"Here I am," came the droll reply. "My, but your powers of deduction grow sharper daily, Claudie."

She huffed and followed him up the stairs, having to trot to keep up. "Where were you? Where did you go?"

He hit the hallway with long strides, heading straight for his bedroom. "That is absolutely none of your business. The days where I run my schedule by anyone else are long gone."

"Well, did you happen to get a look at your schedule?" she pressed, following him into his bedchambers. He ignored her and went to the dresser, pulling out a pair of clean boxers and making sure his suit was hanging outside his closet as he'd asked. "You have a meeting today with the Five Families."

"In two hours," he scoffed, "giving me plenty of time to shower and change and make the meeting. So glad we had this talk, Claudia. What _would_ I do without you watching my every mood?"

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't screw things up."

He turned on her, one foot already in his washroom, and arched a brow superciliously. "I've been doing just fine on my own for the past fifteen years while you were in Milan, I'll do just fine now. Your concern, though heartwarming, really, is unnecessary and frankly a waste of time."

He spared her one last look and hung his suit on the hook in the dressing room adjacent to the bathroom and started taking off his shoes and socks. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready."

Claudia huffed in annoyance and was about to leave when he turned his back on her, but that was when Johnny stripped off his shirt and she caught sight of raw, dark red trails going all the way down his back.

"Oh, my God!" Unable to help it, she rushed forward and touched his back, relieved when she saw that they were just scratches and not actual wounds. "John, what happened?"

"Huh?" He caught sight of himself in the mirror and smirked when he saw the marks Nadine had left after he'd let her have her fun on top and then kept her pinned to the mattress for the next round. "Oh, that."

Claudia looked up at him, her expression equally worried and stern. "Well?"

Johnny grinned and ushered her out of the room, grabbing the doorknob on the way. "You know what they say: work hard, play hard."

His sister made a noise of disgust and whirled around, heading for the door. "Definitely your father's son."


	7. Chapter 7

**This Is Your Song | 07**

That was the absolute last time she would mention working out or the gym or anything even remotely related to that while she was at Jake's, trying to have a drink and unwind with Leyla. The reason for this new resolve was because not more than twenty seconds after Nadine had mentioned the gym, a creepy dockworker came up behind her, and, resting an arm on the back of her chair, leered, "Hey, baby, I've got a muscle you could help me work out."

All she remembered after that was that she said something rude, like how she only worked with large muscle groups, which made the gentleman understandably upset. Upset enough to knock down her chair with her still in it, and Nadine only barely managed to hop off and land on her feet before her chair went crashing to the floor.

Coleman spotted trouble and yelled for his hostess to take over for him, and the burly bartender was already hurrying over when he was, quite literally, beaten to the punch.

Leyla and Nadine both squealed when Johnny appeared out of nowhere and threw the dock worker back, protectively standing in front of them so no one would get any smart ideas. The dock worker cursed and came at him again, and Johnny grabbed his shirt and slammed him up against the wall, actually holding him a couple inches off the ground.

"Come on, Nadie," Leyla ground out, physically dragging her back when she continued to stare stupidly at Johnny as he kicked the asshole's butt. "Come _on_, we don't need to see this. No more trouble tonight, all right? Let's go."

She managed to drag her upstairs to her room and waited around as Nadine washed her face, and then got a page from the hospital.

"Oh, shoot." Leyla made a face and looked over toward the bathroom. "Listen, I have to go. You going to be all right?"

"I'll be fine," Nadine called back. "…Would've been better if I could see that guy get his nuts handed to him."

"Oh, hush," her friend grumbled, letting herself out of her room. "Just try to stay out of trouble until I see you again, all right?"

"No promises!"

"Stupid girl," she muttered under her breath, hurrying down the hall toward the stairwell. "Always wanting to see people get their nuts handed to – Oh!"

Leyla jumped back before she collided with a tall, dark haired man that was coming up the stairs. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see – Hey. You're the man from downstairs, the one that helped my friend."

Johnny looked at her with thinly veiled irritation when Leyla stuck out her hand. After a long pause, he took it and shook twice before quickly letting go. "Yeah."

"Thank you so much, we really appreciate it," Leyla told him. "I don't really know what to say about her – she shoots her mouth off a lot. But we love her anyway. Thanks again."

He grunted as she hurried away, then continued up to the second floor. He didn't bother checking if anyone else was around to see him (thankfully, no one was) and instead just barged on into Nadine's room. It was empty, so he figured she was waiting for him in his and crossed the hall.

Sure enough, Nadine was standing by his window when he practically kicked the door in, and she perked up and smiled at him. That had been so nice of him, what he did downstairs, and even though Coleman could have handled it and tossed that jackass out, Johnny just looked so much hotter taking care of business like that.

"Hey," she chirped, reaching for him as he approached. This just showed that he could be a pretty decent guy when he wanted to be, like when he tried to be all sweet and understanding when Lulu and Epiphany were bugging her…before she threw him down and did things to him. "I gotta say, Zacchara, you really know how to get a girl's-"

"What the fucking _hell_ is your problem?!"

Well.

She blinked at him, sure she'd heard wrong. "Um…what?"

"I want to know what the fuck your problem is," he snarled, getting right in her face and glaring murderously down at her. "Do you go looking for trouble? Is that it? Do you just shoot your mouth off with no concern for what might come next?"

Her jaw dropped. "First of all-"

"Don't speak," Johnny growled. "It seems that every time you do, some guy tries to knock you around."

"Well, clearly," she huffed, not liking this side of him at all. Just who did this ass-face think he was? "If you're any indication."

"You're _lucky_ I was even there," he spat, his hands curling into fists. "I can't be there all the time, you know, so maybe it's time for you to start constructing that filter between your mouth and your damn brain!"

"Then maybe it's time for you to start constructing that filter between my foot and your ass!" She didn't mean to yell (okay, she totally did) but the stupid jerk was really pissing her off. "Who the hell do you think you are, yelling at me like I'm some sort of child?"

"Some sort?" he parroted. "Oh, no, I think you've made it plenty clear that you _are_ a child, if this is the careless way you conduct yourself at a dive like this. Jake's is bad enough as it is but for some reason, you insist on hanging out here even though the men that come here are complete jackasses-"

"Case in point!" she cried, gesturing toward him.

"I'll pretend for your sake that I didn't hear that," Johnny sneered. "You know that this is a horrible place and not only do you come here all the time, you shoot your mouth off and cause problems and what would happen if I'm not around to fix things for you?"

"Then Coleman would have knocked that guy on his ass for me," Nadine snipped back. "So don't go giving yourself too much credit, because you are definitely not the only guy in my life, thank God, otherwise I'd have to shoot myself in the face."

He was glaring down at her, his jaw tight, his eyes practically sending off sparks. "Maybe I should just leave then."

Nadine snorted. "Maybe you should."

Gritting his teeth, Johnny turned on his heel and headed for the door, slamming it so hard behind himself that she could have sworn the wood cracked. God, that stupid boy! What the hell was his problem? He was such an ape. She figured that since she almost got knocked around, he'd actually be nice and act like a freaking human being, but apparently, that was too much to ask for.

God.

She'd known he was an ass from the start. Hell, he'd even told her that he was an ass. He'd warned her against sleeping with him. He probably knew the sex would be good and she'd blind herself to his less than acceptable qualities.

God, why did the sex have to be so good?

Well, it wasn't like they'd be having sex anymore. Boys probably didn't want to put it to girls who threatened to put their foot up said boy's ass. Hm.

While she was considering this, the door was flung open and Johnny reappeared, looking just as mad as he did when he left.

"Hey." He came to a stop in front of her, his expression lethal. "I'm not leaving. This is _my_ room. You leave."

Nadine threw her hands in the air and stalked past him. She had been hoping he wouldn't notice that it was his room he just kicked himself out of, but he obviously wasn't that slow. "Fine! You'll miss me, just watch."

She'd barely had a chance to shove him with her shoulder on her way out before Johnny reached out and roughly grabbed her arm. Nadine squeaked, but the sound was lost as he yanked her to him and crushed his lips hard against hers. It was a purely aggressive kiss, and he held her so close that they were molded together from shoulder to thigh, not a breath of space between them, his raw heat bleeding into her body.

Her body responded to the powerful desire in the kiss even as she mentally kicked herself, and Nadine was entirely unaware of it when her arms came up to wrap around his neck. She was standing on her toes, her body shamelessly pressing against him now, and Johnny's insistent, roving hands finally settled on her bottom. He gave her a rough squeeze, pushing forward with the kiss so that her back actually arched.

His tongue swept boldly through her mouth, dueling with hers, and Johnny slipped a leg between hers and began to slowly back her up toward the bed. They broke for air only when they absolutely had to, but it was long enough for Nadine to form a thought despite Johnny's best effort.

Her lids were heavy as she watched his swollen part to take a breath. "…Why are we doing this?"

Johnny cupped her chin and swooped in for another kiss. "Because you frustrate the fuck out of me."

"Well, clearly not _all _the fuck out of y-"

"Oh, shut up."

Nadine moaned and grasped his sides, tugging his shirt out from his pants and pushing his sweater higher, trying to get her hands on his warm flesh. He backed her up to the bed and they toppled onto it when her knees hit the edge. Johnny kept her pinned there as he kissed her, moving up her body like a feral cat, and Nadine frantically scooted upwards and did her best to take his shirt and sweater with her.

Johnny growled impatiently and ended up helping her divest him of his sweater, then leaned down and kissed her fiercely. Nadine returned the favor, actually arching up off the bed to meet him, and then shoved at his shoulder. The first time didn't make any difference but she did it a couple times and finally, Johnny rolled over onto his side and let her up.

He moved quickly to the footboard of the bed, leaning back against it as she crawled over to him, and Nadine knelt between his bent knees and hurriedly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Johnny lifted his hips and helped her shove his jeans down until he could kick them away, but not before he retrieved a condom from his back pocket.

He was clad in just his boxers now, sitting back at the foot of the bed, and Nadine was still kneeling between his legs. He grasped the edge of her long-sleeved Henley tee and lifted, baring the creamy skin of torso, and she wriggled out of it and tossed it away. Johnny didn't bother with her bra and instead reached for the snap of her jeans.

He had them undone in seconds but struggled to get them off, reminding himself in his frustration that he liked girls in tight jeans, so he shouldn't complain. But really, couldn't there be a happy medium? Extraordinarily tight jeans that, like, disintegrated when a guy just wanted them the hell off his girl? With all the advances of modern science, he felt that surely such a thing could be possible.

Nadine wiggled her hips and shimmied out of her jeans, and he had absolutely no idea how she did it, but there she was, clad in just her hipsters and bra in front of him. She reached out, cupping his rough cheek, and pressed a hard kiss to his lips as he pulled her into his lap. She straddled him easily, but not before he'd coaxed her out of her underwear.

Still holding her close, he braced his back against the backboard and lifted his hips so that he could slide his boxers down his legs and sheath himself. When he pulled her back this time, he pulled her back onto himself, letting her take more and more of him until she was settled fully against him, and Johnny finally let out a very satisfied, "Oh, God."

Nadine rested her forehead against his for a moment, her eyes closed even though his were wide open, and then she began to move, slowly at first, and then faster. She braced her hands on his shoulder and he held on to her waist, guiding her, twisting, rotating his hips as she rode him, making the most amazing noises he'd ever heard from her. Knowing she was close, he arched his hips just right and sure enough, that was all it took.

Nadine let out a squeak – she was the first girl who ever squeaked in bed, and it was finally starting not to annoy the shit out of him – and would have toppled off of him if he hadn't been holding her so tightly, so she ended up slumping against his chest as his body stiffened and he let go.

She had longer to compose herself than he did and was idly stroking her fingers over his chest, through the springy hair there, as his breathing finally returned to normal. Johnny ran his fingers through her hair, pleased to find it just a little damp from sweat. Nadine arched her back a little and the movement brought them even closer together. Johnny shifted a little, wanting to be rid of the condom, and she finally moved so that he could properly dispose of it. When it was gone, he pulled her back in his arms so that she was resting against his chest just like she had been before.

"So." Her fingers traced idle patterns through the hair on his chest. "How far did you get?"

Johnny was in that comfortable post-sex haze where all he wanted was a blanket and for her to shut up. "Hm?"

"When you left," she murmured. "How far did you get?"

"Oh." His fingers were tangled quite pleasantly in her hair. "To my car."

She sighed and turned her face into his neck, sounding sleepy. "…You're such an asshole."

The corner of his mouth curved downward and he held on to her just a little tighter, liking the way his hand fit at the curve of her waist even as he reminded himself not to get in too deep.

"…I know."


	8. Chapter 8

**This Is Your Song | 08**

**.: Jake's Bar & Billiards :.**

That stupid boy of hers was in Milan and it sucked royally.

Nadine sighed and accepted the mug of beer Elizabeth handed her and cleared a spot on their table for the pitcher.

God. It had been two weeks already and they still had another week to go before he got back, and then he'd probably be busy with the business for a while so they wouldn't even be able to hang out properly.

(Because hanging out properly took about forty-five minutes at the least when Johnny was in the proper mood.)

He didn't really tell her that he was going to Milan for business, but he'd hinted at it and honestly, she wasn't stupid. There was no reason for him to go back to his family's seat of power if not business. Pleasure, sure, but she didn't really know what to think of that. Johnny didn't seem to be looking forward to the trip when he told her about it, so she figured he planned to spend most of it working or attending dreary business functions.

Of course, he'd probably spend his nights holed up with some Tuscan bombshell that would be sure to make Nadine feel completely inadequate as a woman, but she didn't want to think about that, either.

She didn't want to say she missed that stupid boy of hers – no, that was a strange thought. What she really missed was the sex. She hadn't gotten laid since the night before he left and it was starting to get really frustrating, which in itself was also frustrating. She'd gone about six months or so at the longest without getting laid and it didn't really bother her. But now that she was getting it regularly, going without for even a week was torture.

And, of course, there was the little fact that Johnny was _that_ good.

Nadine knew there was no reason that she couldn't find some other guy to spend her time with during these three weeks. She and Johnny weren't exclusive or anything. They'd never really discussed it, but she had a feeling that Johnny would never let exclusivity factor into any of his casual relationships. She really had no way of knowing if he was or wasn't hooking up with other girls during the course of their relationship, and the thought was only mildly bothersome, just a tiny bit.

They were both single, technically, and if she happened to hit it off with some hot intern at the hospital and spend the night with him, she wouldn't feel guilty about it when Johnny got back. Not one bit. She wouldn't feel the need to confess it, either. It would simply be another one of those things that weren't any of Johnny's business, and she'd leave it at that.

Still, the thought of jumping into bed with someone that wasn't him was…weird. Even though she knew she wouldn't feel guilty, it was still weird. She'd gotten so used to Johnny over the past three months. She knew where he liked to be touched and how and how hard, and she liked his methods in bed, too. Being with someone else, figuring out all that stuff again (it would certainly take more than one night, and she wasn't feeling a commitment that long, frankly) just didn't seem that appealing a prospect at all.

So she told herself that it would be fine, that she'd just make do and keep herself busy until Johnny got back and had time to hang out. It wasn't because they were exclusive, it wasn't because she'd feel guilty, it was just because one no-strings relationship at a time was all that she was willing to handle, and it was just easier this way. If he wanted to sleep around while he was gone, that was his business, and this was hers. She'd made her decision.

Still, not having that stupid boy of hers around sucked. Royally.

"Okay, girl, spill it," Leyla ordered, filling her empty mug with beer and settling down with the others to listen. "Let's hear it."

Nadine looked around the table slowly, confused. "…Hear what?"

"Whatever's got you so bummed," Regina filled in. "And don't bother pretending, we've all seen it."

"You _have _been a little quite lately," Elizabeth pointed out. "And you just look…sad."

She leaned closer, folding her arms over the table, and looked at Nadine seriously. "And we're not stupid. We all thought you needed some cheering up because you were sad…maybe about this guy you've been seeing?"

Nadine's eyes widened. "…You know about him?"

Oh, shit.

Johnny was _not_ going to be happy.

And really, how well did it reflect on _her_ if it came out she was sleeping with a mobster? Ew, gross.

"Um…" She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "What do you know?"

"Well, we just had a feeling that you were seeing someone," Leyla said. "You just seemed a little more energetic and confident and relaxed and-"

"Ballsy," Kelly filled in. "Like you didn't care who it was, if someone stepped on you, you'd put your foot up their ass. And we figured, before, you were pretty new in town and didn't ruffle feathers and even after all of us got to know each other, you still kept a low profile and if you were starting to let the inner bitch out, it must be because you were getting positive reinforcement elsewhere. Lots of positive reinforcement."

Nadine blushed, and they all knew the truth. "Well, yeah, I've kind of been seeing this one guy…"

"And let me guess," Elizabeth murmured. "Things have kind of stalled out or hit a rocky patch."

It was a safe way to put it, so she nodded. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Try not to let it get you down," Leyla said, patting her arm. "Boys are…dumb. They can't help it, they just are."

"Yeah," Regina agreed. "If he splits, it's because he can't see what a great person you are and it's his loss. Asshole."

Elizabeth glared at her before turning back to Nadine. "Or maybe you both just need time to figure things out. I've seen how you were when you were obviously with him – it's clear that he makes you happy and I bet it's reciprocated. I'm sure you guys make a great couple."

"Things will work out," Leyla agreed. "They'll work out for the best, so chin up, yeah?"

"Yeah." Nadine gave them a sprightly smile and quickly took a sip from her mug, unable to keep from shaking her head at what twits her friends were.


	9. Chapter 9

**This Is Your Song | 09**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

"Mister Quartermaine, good to see you," Johnny smiled, shaking Edward's hand. "Please, make yourself at home. Enjoy. Mrs. Quartermaine, you look lovely. I'm so glad you could come."

He'd just gotten back from Milan that morning, and Claudia had thrown him a party to welcome him home. Stupid woman. If she knew anything, she'd have known that a party was the last thing he wanted. All he wanted was to get out of his suit, ditch his office, and head over to Jake's to find Nadine. Instead, he was stuck playing fucking host to a bunch of people he couldn't stand.

But at least Nadine had been invited. He was on the board at General Hospital and so Claudia had invited Doctor Ford, Doctors Drake and Scorpio with others, as well as some of the nurses she knew that he was acquainted with.

That was why Nadine walked through the door just then, dressed in a long, fitted black gown with white gloves (the only one wearing gloves), with Elizabeth Webber at her side. The older nurse paused to give her coat to one of the staff, and Claudia appeared at Johnny's side just as Nadine approached.

The nurse smiled prettily and Johnny clasped her gloved hand loosely, trying to look a little disinterested…but not too much, otherwise Claudia would notice.

"Miss Crowell," he purred. "You look lovely. I'm so glad you came."

"Thank you for inviting me," she smiled at both of them. "You have a lovely house, by the way."

He nodded and let her pass, and as soon as she was out of earshot, Claudia nudged him. "Who was that?"

"Nurse at the hospital."

His bland, succinct answer escaped her suspicion and she nodded, looking over when Elizabeth approached.

"Miss Webber," Johnny smiled, taking her head. "You look lovely. I'm so glad you could make it."

"Happy to," she smiled. "Thank you for the invitation."

"Not at all," he smiled, keeping her hand in his just to tease. "I'm on excellent terms with the General Hospital staff and am very pleased that you could come to my home."

"That's very nice of you," Elizabeth said warmly.

"You didn't bring those boys of yours," he continued, sounding just confused enough to be concerned and observant instead of creepy. "The ones that I've had the occasion of seeing at the hospital. Cameron and Jay."

"Cameron and Jake," she filled in. Johnny smirked; he knew the boy's name. "No, I didn't. I – this is a dinner party, I thought kids were-"

"I have a baby-sitter on staff for this evening," he explained, gesturing to a room further down the hall from where she could hear a few children laughing. "She's on hand for every single function I throw for friends or associates at the house. After all, even men in my business can have children and be fathers."

His smile widened and he tilted his head to the side boyishly. "Oh, but I don't have to explain to you, you already know."

To his delight, the nurse turned exactly three shades paler. "…Excuse me?"

"Because you're a nurse," Johnny chirped, having entirely too much fun with her. "I hardly have to explain the intricate process of procreation to you."

"Oh. Yeah." Elizabeth laughed nervously and tugged her hand from his. "Thank you for inviting me to your home, Mister Zacchara."

"Any time, Miss Webber," he replied graciously, folding his hands behind his back. "I hope to see you here again in the future. And next time…do feel free to bring your boys."

She nodded jerkily and quickly moved away, and Johnny grinned despite himself. God, the stupid twit of a woman. It almost wasn't sporting of him to toy with her; she made far too easy a target.

Ooh, bonus points: Jason Morgan had seen him talking to her and was now looking quite clearly out of sorts. Score.

"What was that about?" Claudia wanted to know, causing his smile to fade.

"Nothing you need to be concerned with," Johnny told her brusquely.

She followed him over to the entrance as another family arrived. "Were you hitting on her or something?"

He rolled his eyes. "Claudia, when I make flirtatious overtures to a woman, said overtures are far more graceful in nature. And also directed at women that haven't yet spawned, thank you."

He shuddered at the thought of children and pregnancy and all that horrible business, and didn't even realize that he'd glanced in Nadine's direction. Claudia, however, had, and as he made his introductions to their guests, she looked thoughtfully in the blonde nurse's direction.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He'd been watching her all night, the stupid boy, she just knew it. She could feel his eyes on her and every time she turned around, there he was, dark suit, perfectly styled hair, smoldering gaze, all of it, like something off the cover of a really bad romance novel.

Jesus Christ, who did that stupid boy think he was? Didn't he know that he couldn't stare at her like that, that he couldn't send her the patented Sex Look in such a neutral environment where she couldn't drag him off to the nearest coat closet (Crimson Manor had no less than five, she'd been told) and have her way with him?

Stupid, stupid boy.

She always got mixed up with the stupid ones, too.

She had barely been able to concentrate on anything Elizabeth had said in the past ten minutes because all she could think of was how to keep herself in check when that ape of a man insisted on trying to hypnotize her with his bedroom eyes. Gah.

"Oh. Excuse me." She frowned when her phone buzzed and flipped it open to find a new text.

_Leave ballroom. Go to foyer, take stairs up. 5th room on the right. Now._

"Anything important?" Elizabeth asked, watching the corner of Nadine's mouth twitch.

"Actually, yeah," she smiled. "I'm going to have to take this. See you later."

With hardly another word to anyone, Nadine breezed out of the grand ballroom, but not before asking one of the staff members, just for show, which way the bathroom was. Once outside, she followed the hallway to the grand foyer. After making sure there weren't any maids around, she quickly trotted up the stairs, feeling like a really naughty stowaway, and counted off five doors before pushing open the one she stopped in front of.

It opened into a hallway, and she passed a dressing room with a very fancy Oriental screen and a bathroom about as large as her entire master bedroom at Crowell House, and Nadine was thoroughly confused.

"Hello? Um…Whoa!"

He'd been waiting in the shadows, that horrendous ape, and Johnny had slipped an arm around her waist and hauled her close as soon as she was within reach. She didn't even get a chance to scold him for scaring her that way before he crushed his lips to hers and held her real close, so close that there wasn't even room for air between them, much less thoughts or words.

He moaned a little, coaxing her closer still, as his lips moved masterfully over hers and his roving hands stole around to squeeze her hip, sliding over the pretty black silk she wore. Nadine wound her arms around his neck, her hips pressing into his, and felt the start of that tell-tale bulge low against her belly already.

"Mmm," he murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth when she had to pull away for air. "Thought you'd never get up here."

Nadine framed his face in her hands and kissed him hard, not even bothering with words. God, but she'd missed this. She didn't even realize how much until just now, when his arms wrapped around her and the raw, masculine heat of him bled through the thin silk she wore. Nothing beat this, absolutely nothing.

Johnny pulled her away, toward the center of the room where his massive bed stood. It was a behemoth of a creation, dark and wooden with drapes tied back, covered in a very pale gold comforter with plain white sheets. Nadine went willingly, her arms smoothing down his sides, over the clean lines of that amazing suit he wore. She'd never really had a chance to see him dressed up and damn, did he look good. She absolutely loved him in a suit…but had a feeling she'd love him more out of it.

Without any preamble, Johnny leaned down and scooped her up into his arms, then strode toward the bed. He deposited her right in the middle of it and hastily kicked off his shoes, then removed his suit jacket. It took him a minute to wrangle himself out of the tuxedo he wore but soon enough he was crawling over her clad in just his tuxedo pants.

He'd gotten a nice tan while in Italy, and Nadine trailed her fingers over his chest, fascinated by how his skin was even darker now compared hers. Johnny indulged her, then reached behind her and undid the silver brooch she wore in her hair, letting her waves tumble down freely. He tossed it onto the other side of the bed, entirely unconcerned, and skimmed a hand possessively over her body from the underswell of her breast to her hip.

Nadine shivered at the combination of the cool silk and his warm touch, but Johnny wasn't done. Far from it. He coaxed her up a little, just enough for him to reach the zipper on the back of the dress. Slowly, he tugged it down, down, down, all the way down, until the silk pooled at her waist. She wore no bra tonight and he cupped her gently at first, then squeezed roughly. Nadine arched her neck and he leaned down, nipping at the pale skin at the column of her throat as he played with her.

Her hips bucked off the bed and he seized the opportunity to sweep the silk away and fling it onto the corner of the bed where she could retrieve it later. This left her clad in just her black stockings and matching garter belt, the undergarments he'd sent over along with the dress that morning by way of his loyal guard, one he knew would be entirely discreet in the matter.

She was looking up at him openly and the moment was perfect. His hand settled on the womanly curve of her hip as if it belonged there, and Johnny pressed his lips to hers, pushing her down onto his bed as he simultaneously pushed away her garter belt. The snaps came undone and he flung it away, frustrated by these scraps of silk and nylon that kept her from being bare underneath him. He deliberated about rolling her stockings down to her toes and getting rid of them, and Nadine watched him purse up his lips in contemplation and think, looking so much like a little boy that it was just charming. In the end, he opted to let her leave the stockings on and stretched out half on top of her, pinning her down to the mattress and kissing her deeply.

Nadine grappled with his pants and Johnny finally heaved himself off to get rid of them. He tossed them onto the backboard of the bed and was on her again, and this time she comfortably wound her legs around his lean waist, hearing him growl when the nylon rasped against his skin and she was brought up squarely against him.

He kissed her neck, strumming his knuckles over her breast until she writhed underneath him, and then Johnny surprised her by taking her hand and wrapping it around himself, letting her feel just how hot and hard he was in her palm. Nadine squeezed him, felt his hips buck against her, and then lost all coherent thought when his lips captured hers again.

Johnny grabbed her wrists and pinned them up above her head, and her knuckles hit the headboard. He kissed her hard, felt her twist underneath him, and when he pulled back for air he saw her hair fanning out of over his pillows.

Good. That was exactly what he wanted.

He kissed her again, felt her back arch so that her hips rose an inch or so off the bed and pressed shamelessly against his. He wanted to take her in his bed, he wanted to walk into his room and be able to remember her there. He wanted his sheets to smell like her, he wanted to see her hair spread across his pillow. Crimson Manor was so dark, gloomy, and sterile all the time, he just wanted a piece of her here.

Literally, as it were.

Ha.

Nadine was watching him as he pulled away and grabbed a condom from his drawer. It took him mere seconds at sheathing himself – come on, he'd had more than enough practice to be good at it by now – and she let out a slow breath when he entered her smoothly, inch by inch. Her fingernails scraped across his scalp and he kept going until he was fully buried in her. Only then did he let his head drop into the cavern of her neck and let out a breath of relief.

Her hips were already moving in that ancient rhythm, spurring his along, and before long Johnny was moving swiftly, rotating, thrusting, driving forward powerfully. Nadine let out a hoarse cry that he quickly smothered with his lips and he felt her body tighten before she found her release, and he wasn't too far behind.

To avoid falling on top of her, he tucked and rolled over onto his side, pulling her with him, and lay there until their breathing returned to normal.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were sweaty and exhausted, entirely spent and lying in each other's arms in his massive bed, and a long moment passed before Nadine could even form an intelligent thought. Johnny felt her shift, felt her stretch a little, and languidly reached across her into his drawer. He scrounged around in there until he found what he was looking for, and when he withdrew his hand, she saw something yellow and speckled with many colors in his hand.

"Here."

"What's this?"

"A ring, what's it look like?" he snorted, dropping it in her palm. It was a flat piece of glass, yellowish gold and the size of a quarter, mounted on a gold band. It included bits of vibrant blue and white and red and green, all meshed together, frozen inside the glass, and he'd given it to her like it was nothing.

"What – what's this for?" She looked up at him in surprise. "Did you get this in…?"

"Milan," he affirmed, stretching out languidly next to her. "It was a gift given to me by one of my associates there, meant for my sister. But she doesn't need more jewelry, she has more than enough. I…thought you'd like it."

Nadine studied the brilliant colors, her eyes glowing. "Oh, I love it. I don't have anything like it. It's beautiful, so beautiful."

He snorted again. "Whatever, it's just a hunk of glass. You can stop looking at it like it's an emerald."

Her only response was to stick her tongue out at him, and Johnny watched her toy with the ring. Impatient now, he took it from her and, grabbing her wrist, put it on her finger. "There. It's on."

Nadine shoved him with her shoulder but he wrapped his arms around her, preventing that sort of retaliatory strike in the future. "So…how was Milan?"

"Sucked," he grumbled. "I worked from sun up to sun down and was too tired then to do anything but go straight to sleep, hoping I'd wake up far away from that awful house. God. Didn't get a chance to enjoy anything. I hate visiting Uncle Rudy. Son of a bitch works me like a dog."

She smiled to herself as he ranted, wondering if his saying that he didn't have a chance to enjoy anything was his way of letting her know he hadn't had a chance to enjoy _anyone_ either.

Stupid boy.

"Well, then, I'm glad you're back."

He stiffened behind her. "…Because you missed me?"

"Because you obviously had a horrible time there," she corrected with a shrug, "so it's good that you're back."

"You missed me." Nadine turned and saw him pulling a face. "That's kind of pathetic of you. I was only gone three weeks."

Johnny grunted when she shoved his chest, and this made her grin. "Whatever, Zacchara. You _wanted_ me to miss you. You were _hoping_ I'd miss you."

His jaw dropped. "I was not."

"You were _dying_ for me to just run into your arms when I got here," she teased, her grin widening, "and just cover you with kisses. Aw, if you wanted kisses, Johnny, you really should have just asked. I'd have given you kisses, honest."

He was glaring at her like a child and looking terribly put out. "…Shut up."

"Aw. You want kisses."

"Not from you, I don't."

"Oh, yes, you do," she gloated. "It was all you could think about when you were away in-"

She didn't get a chance to finish that thought because he propped himself up on his elbow and just crushed his lips to hers, leaving absolutely no room for anything stupid she might have to say. Nadine groaned a little and let her lips part under his, having no way of knowing that he just wanted to shut her up because she'd gotten a little too close to the truth there for his comfort.

Johnny pulled back and looked down at her arrogantly, daring her to continue her ridiculous speech, and Nadine flicked her thumb against his chin.

"See?" she said, but her voice was breathless. "I'd have given you kisses."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Claudia glared at him as Johnny entered the ballroom again, not a single hair out of place. "Where were you? I had to talk to people and I hate talking to people."

"I had something I needed to attend to," Johnny answered smoothly, and she caught him looking at someone before he ducked away to make sure his guests were enjoying themselves. Claudia looked in the direction he'd been looking and saw that one pretty blonde nurse, the one from the hospital who'd been the only one wearing gloves. Apparently the little snip had lost those gloves and….hello, was boasting a very shiny glass ring on her finger.

Claudia's lips tightened into a thin line as she looked across the room at her brother, who was talking to Jasper Jacks. In the middle of the conversation, Johnny glanced over at the nurse, who must have felt it because she looked back. Claudia saw the look that passed between them and just _knew – _those two were definitely sleeping together.

God, she had the stupidest brother ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Claudia and Johnny smiled and shook hands with the members of the Quartermaine family as they left, then did the same when Jasper Jacks left with his wife, and then bid the hospital staff goodnight.

Nadine was one of the last ones, still talking to Robin, and her hands were bare this time when she shook them with Claudia and Johnny. While her little brother still had the nurse's hand in his, Claudia took a gander at the ring, realizing from the style and design that it was a trinket from Italy. That better not have been a gift for her that her stupid brother decided to pass along.

"Thank you for having us," Nadine smiled at Johnny, whose dark eyes glowed. "I had a lovely time."

"I'll bet you did," Claudia muttered, drawing confused looks from Johnny and Nadine. "I meant, I saw you a couple times tonight with your friend and I was glad that you looked to be enjoying yourself."

Nadine relaxed, though Johnny glared at her for the obvious lie, and nodded. "Thanks again. Have a good night."

Claudia waited until she was out of earshot before she nudged her brother with her elbow. "So. That your little bed buddy?"

Johnny's expression turned lethal for a second before it melted into a charming smile as he shook Alexis Davis's hand. "Not another word, Claudia."

~*~*~*~*~*~

The guests had all left and Johnny and Claudia were winding down with a drink in the parlor as the staff cleaned up.

"That Nadine girl's kind of cute," Claudia mused. "Not really your type, though. Don't you go for…I don't know, taller, bigger boobs, more…supermodel-type?"

Johnny glared at her.

"Don't get me wrong, I think she's cute," she repeated. "And she seemed nice enough. All in all, one of your better ones."

"Shut the fuck up, Claudia."

"I liked her dress, too," she continued. "I have one kind of like that, but it's off the shoulder and dark burgundy with crystals. I liked the black, though. Classic, simple, elegant."

"I got it for her."

She could tell from his face that he didn't mean to blurt that out and, even now, Johnny couldn't figure out why he did. "You did what? You got her that? That dress?"

He nodded jerkily. "Yeah."

"When?!"

"Uh…I had it sent to her this morning…along with some other things."

Claudia arched a brow at him. "Other things? Like what?"

"Nothing."

"If you sent that girl stockings and garters and shoes…"

"Not shoes," he scoffed. "I'm not that dumb."

Claudia wanted to smack him. "Don't sound so proud, because you're very, very dumb. You sent her a designer dress and underwear? For what, John? God! What were you thinking? You don't do that with nice, small town girls like this nurse, you just don't!"

"I just…wanted her to wear them."

"My God, are you _trying_ to make her feel like a whore?" Claudia stared at him, and then it dawned on her. "Oh, my God…you _are."_

Johnny said nothing and just stared at his whiskey.

Claudia huffed and leaned forward, balancing her elbows on her knees. "I see what's going on here. I see it. You like her – you actually like this girl. And that scares the shit out of you because you don't like nice girls. You never have. So you're treating her like this hoping she'll just tell you where to stick it and run off, and it'll be over and you can feel like it was for the best because she deserves better but really, you're just too chickenshit to deal with the fact that maybe you actually like someone that could like you back."

He growled and took a large sip of his drink. "It's not like that at all."

But she was shaking her head as she pushed herself away from her chair and got up. "Christ, you're dumb."


	10. Chapter 10

**This Is Your Song | 10**

**.: General Hospital :.**

Another fucking emergency Hospital Board meeting.

Johnny growled to himself as he stepped off the elevator. He hated these damn things. Sure, it gave him an excuse to come by the hospital and see Nadine, but other than that? Total bust. He hated all those other idiots on the board and wanted to tell them all to just die already and spare him the torture of having to attend these damn things.

Okay, maybe that was a little petulant of him.

But he was in a bad mood this morning, so he really didn't care.

He heard her laughter as soon as he stepped onto the fifth floor and when Johnny looked over, sure enough, there she was. She was standing in a group of interns and orderlies, all of them dressed in different colored scrubs. She wore pale blue, a good color on her, and was laughing at something a doctor in dark pink wore.

Johnny wrinkled his nose. What kind of self-respecting man wore that color?

The fucker in pink leaned an arm against the counter, but Johnny saw it for what it really was: an excuse to get even closer to Nadine. He said something that made her laugh again – oh, what a funny man – and his fingertips brushed against her arm playfully.

Johnny rolled his eyes and headed toward them. Really, was it his fault that the board room was right down that hallway? Not at all. And while he was here…

He felt her jump a little when his palm found the lush curve of her bottom, right where his hand had rested on many occasions, and when Nadine gaped at him he offered her only a polite smile.

"Beg pardon, miss. Late to a meeting. If you'll excuse me."

He slipped past her and walked down the hallway to the board meeting, feeling her eyes on his back the whole time.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nadine walked down the hall, humming to herself, and smiled at Leo when he walked past. Leo was a nice guy. A nice, dependable, upright kind of guy. She enjoyed being able to work with him, even though she was a pediatric nurse and he was a resident, so their paths rarely crossed, but he was handsome and charming and polite and supportive and God, she loved it when he flirted with her. He flirted with every woman there, of course, but he did it in such a charming way that no one took it badly or seriously. He was one of those guys that just loved women in general, and that the women at General Hospital liked to be around.

Johnny Zacchara sure didn't like to be around him, though, from what she'd gathered. God, that stupid boy had scared the crap out of her when he grabbed her ass like that. For someone who insisted that they keep their relationship on the down-low so that no one else had a chance of finding out, he was very possessive, even in public.

Stupid boy.

Leo would never dream of grabbing her ass. Only stupid apes like Johnny Zacchara would dream of doing so in public, where anyone might have seen them.

God.

But she had to admit, it was thrilling. It made her stupid, she knew this, but she couldn't help but feel a little thrill every time he touched her or looked at her in that way that screamed for everyone else to back off – even though it was a sentiment that couldn't be voiced for obvious reasons, but she saw it all the same.

No boy had ever looked at her the way Johnny did, and no boy had ever touched her the way he did, equal parts gentle and possessive. She'd be sure to put him in his place if he came to be an asshole about it, but sometimes she just like to sit back and let him be snarly about her and go completely caveman on her. He really was just that cute.

God, it was so stupid, the things she'd let him get away with just for the sake of that cute smile and even cuter tush.

Nadine giggled to herself and made a mental note to refer to his ass as a 'tush' in front of him some time, no doubt ensuring a major freak out on his part since apparently macho men like Johnny Zacchara were not in the possession of a tush, and she was altogether unprepared when a door to her right opened and she was yanked into the darkness and slammed up against it.

He kissed her sweetly before she could scream, and Nadine relaxed against him as soon as the familiar scent of citrusy cologne hit her. Johnny braced an arm on the door above her head and when he pulled back, she could make out his bright eyes.

"So." His fingers grazed the line of her jaw. "Who was the asshole with the ponytail?"

There were two ways to handle this: she could either get mad at him for being a jealous loser, or she could have some fun with him.

"Who? The guy who gave me a free milkshake just now? That's Kevin, he works in the cafeteria and knows I like mine extra thick."

Johnny closed his eyes in exasperation. "No, the one in pink."

"Oh, the pink dress shirt? That's Doctor Mulligan, our new gynie. He had a golf date with Doctor Ford this morning, that's what's with the fancy duds. All of the girls are running to him for check ups, and get this, I beat all those dumb whores and totally scheduled a pelvic exam with him for later this week. Score!"

He was looking downright cross, and it was terribly amusing. "No, no, the asshole in pink scrubs and the ponytail who was all over you."

"Ohhhh," she feigned, grinning cheekily up at him. "That was Leo, one of our residents. You're going to have to be more specific, Zacchara, there are tons of guys around here who are 'all over me,' as you put it."

Even in the darkness, she could see his eyes narrow dangerously. "…You're making fun of me."

"Only a little," Nadine grinned. "And only because you deserve it."

"Yeah?" he challenged, backing her up against the door again. "And let me give you exactly what _you_ deserve…"

She pulled him to her without any preamble, running her fingers through his thick, dark hair as Johnny slipped a leg between hers and rocked his hips gently into hers. He didn't even need to keep her pinned to the door: she knew how it went by now and in the tiny little supply closet, the door really was the best place to go at it.

His hands were at her sides, slipping under her scrub top and the baby tee she wore underneath, eager to feel her smooth skin. She was always so warm and soft and curvy, so perfect under his rough, dry hands. Nadine was impatient and whipped the shapeless scrub top off, flinging it onto the shelf before reaching for him again.

She knew just how to get him worked up and before long he was hard and straining against the fabric of his pants. Nadine groaned as Johnny nibbled and sucked on her neck, that one spot that just drove her wild, and frantically grappled with his belt. She had it undone in seconds and was pulling his zipper down, eager to feel him in her hand.

He kept kissing and nibbling on her neck, driving her absolutely crazy, and she let out a sigh of relief when she wrapped her hand around him, finding him hard and absolutely burning. Johnny groaned, resting his head against her shoulder as she ran her fingertips up and down the length of him. He growled and nipped at her ear and she knew it was his way of letting her know he was too close for her to play with like this. God, she loved it when he was like this: so reckless and wild and focused on only one thing, the one thing she could give him, the one thing she had total power over.

Johnny was yanking at the drawstring of her scrub bottoms, shoving them down and tugging down her underwear with them. Nadine didn't even bother with his shirt or jacket, just shoved his pants down to his knees along with his boxer briefs, and reached for him.

Johnny prodded her to lift her legs, though she was somewhat constricted by the scrub bottoms at her ankles, and Nadine managed to grip him with her thighs as he positioned himself. He looked deeply into her eyes, his strong arms holding her up, before he entered her smoothly.

Nadine groaned and threw her head back and Johnny kissed her neck, holding himself still, deep inside of her. He kissed her neck, his arms trembling now a little as he held her up, and began to move fast. He was sure they were making a racket, going at it against the door like this, but as long as no one busted them before he finished, he was fine with it.

Helping her along was no trouble; he knew exactly how to move and exactly how to touch her to get her off. Really, it was alarming how good he'd gotten at getting her off. He never stayed with a woman long enough to really learn her body this way, but with Nadine, it was practically second nature.

He removed his lips from her neck just in time to catch her cry when she came, her muscles clenching down around him, and moved just a little faster to find his own release. His arms trembled, stronger this time, when he finally let go, and Nadine gripped him as tightly as she could with her hips to keep them both upright.

He was breathing hard, his forehead resting against hers, and she brushed his hair back and kissed his chin. Johnny purred and nipped at her lower lip, and they stayed that way until their breathing returned to normal. He reluctantly let her down and she yanked up her scrub bottoms as he looked around for a tissue with which to dispose of his condom. Once that was settled, he yanked up his pants and quickly zipped them and fixed his belt.

Nadine ran her hands over her hair, trying to make herself look presentable, and he surprised her by batting her hands away and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Don't you have a meeting or something that you were late to?"

He grinned and gave her a quick peck of a kiss. "It's been delayed. One of the executive members was running late."

Nadine grabbed him around the waist and pulled him close, kissing him deeply, and as she did so, reached around behind him and gave his ass a good squeeze. Johnny jumped, startled, and Nadine grinned as she discreetly reached for the door knob.

"Turn about's fair play, Zacchara."

And with that, she opened the door and moved with it, and Johnny fairly fell out into the hallway, turning around in surprise when she quickly closed the door, locking herself back in the closet before anyone saw.

He straightened his jacket, glaring at the people that stared at him, and walked briskly down the hall, absolutely certain that he heard her giggle behind that blasted door.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Oh, my gosh, what is that?"

"Do you see the size of that thing?"

"Holy crap."

"Was that there this morning?"

Johnny walked out after the board meeting and passed the hub, where that asshole Leo and a bunch of others, including Elizabeth and some nurses he barely recognized from his party, were watching Nadine go through her patient binders.

"That is one monster hickey."

"Wow."

"I didn't know she was with anyone."

Well, that asshole Leo sure knew it now. Sure enough, right on the side of Nadine's neck, high and prominent, was a dark, fresh hickey. Personally, Johnny was amazed that she hadn't noticed how he'd been sucking on her neck the whole time, but it was obvious that everyone else noticed now.

He smirked and walked past her, making sure to smile at her politely before he got in the elevator.


	11. Chapter 11

**This Is Your Song | 11**

**.: General Hospital, Hub :.**

"So?" Elizabeth eased closer to her as she organized her charts. "Did you make up with that guy of yours?"

"Yeah, are things better?" Leyla wanted to know.

"Do you all get paid to actually help people, or just stand around and gossip?"

Nadine rolled her eyes as Epiphany barked. One day, she'd just let that stupid goat have it. It would _not_ be pretty, but boy, would she enjoy it. If she said just one more thing, one more damn thing, she was going to bite her oversized head off and spit it out in Dr. Ford's office…

"Hi, guys!"

Oh, great. This time, Nadine couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes as Lulu Spencer, the most inept candystriper at General Hospital, came bouncing up into the hub. She had no idea why the girl even bothered anymore: she showed up for about two shifts a week when she had four, and always screwed up more than she helped out.

"Hi, Lulu."

She could hear the exasperation in everyone else's voices, too, as they responded to her greeting. She had to figure that Elizabeth had it the worst. Lulu was her sister-in-law, after all, and she had to at least pretend to like her.

"Sorry I'm so late. I had a date last night." She looked around to see if anyone was interested. No one was. "With Dillon."

"Isn't that your stepbrother?" Leyla asked, her tone letting everyone know she already knew the answer.

Lulu made a face as the elevator doors buzzed. "Yeah, but we're totally not related, so it's fine."

She looked over just as Johnny Zacchara stepped out onto the hub and saw him glance at Nadine a little longer than was necessary for two people that didn't know each other. Nadine barely looked up, instead frowning at a patient chart that just didn't look right.

"Hey, Nadine?"

Lulu kept one eye on Johnny. She'd heard that Nadine was involved with someone for the past few months and maybe it was about time that Mister Zacchara knew that so he wouldn't be so tempted to eyeball her that way. "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

"What?" Nadine looked up just then and caught Johnny's gaze as he passed by smoothly. "No. No, I don't. Why do you ask?"

Lulu's lips settled into a peevish line. Damn it. "No reason. I just…thought you were involved with someone."

"Well, I'm not," Nadine muttered, looking back to her files. "Why don't you order those charts over there and then go make sure the supply closet is stocked?"

"Yeah, I knew it was just a dumb rumor," Lulu replied with a catty little shrug. "I had a feeling there wasn't anyone."

Johnny heard this and rolled his eyes, and Lulu, satisfied with her work, flounced off to check the supply closet first instead of ordering the charts like Nadine told her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Head down, girls," Elizabeth muttered, walking quickly into the hub. "The board meeting just let out, so look busy."

"Why do we have to look busy?" Lulu asked, making them all roll their eyes.

"Because the board members are idiots," Leyla stated simply. "And they like to pretend that they own this place even though they're just here a couple times a month to talk about the business end of things."

"And when they pass the nurses' station and we're not looking properly busy," Regina picked up, "they throw a fit and talk to Doctor Ford and he gets mad and everyone suffers. So just pretend you're busy."

"Just ruffle through the same charts over and over," Elizabeth suggested dryly. "They're not very smart. They're administration, after all. Intelligence is not a job requirement."

Nadine smirked at that, wondering what Johnny would do if she casually snipped that at him, and went back to signing insurance reports as the board members filed into the hub dressed in their fancy suits, looking completely out of place in the hospital.

They waited by the elevators, apparently pleased with how busy the nurses looked, and had to wait before climbing on because a delivery man with a large bouquet was waiting to get out onto their floor.

He walked right over to the hub and looked at them expectantly. "I have a delivery for Nadine Crowell?"

"That's me," Nadine barely managed to croak out as Johnny stepped into the hub of the hospital, lagging behind his colleagues. "Are you sure you want Nadine Crowell?"

"Well, I don't, personally, but it looks like someone does," he smirked, setting the bouquet down in front of her. "Have a nice day."

"Oh, my gosh." Nadine fingered the beautiful flowers, a massive arrangement of yellow tulips and blue irises, her two favorite flowers in the world when put together this way. She loved them because she'd held a bouquet of yellow tulips and blue irises when she was five, at her late Uncle Lorin's wedding to Aunt Rayleen, and everyone said that the flowers suited her and Jolene perfectly, since they were blonde haired and blue eyed.

"They're so beautiful."

"They're gorgeous," Leyla agreed, looking closer. "Is there any card?"

Nadine shook her head as Johnny smirked, taking his time to get to the elevator. "Nope, no card."

Regina looked confused. "Then how do you know who it's from?"

She looked at him as he walked by, but Johnny was very pointedly looking at his watch. "Oh, I know."

Lulu didn't look pleased at all and half-glared at the senior nurse. "I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone."

Nadine ignored her, as did the rest of them, and Elizabeth moved forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, admiring the beautiful flowers.

"Well, you know what I say?" She paused to play with a tulip.

Nadine looked at Johnny, who had punched the button for the elevator and was waiting patiently. He caught her gaze and smirked, and she kept herself composed so as not to give anything away. "What?"

"I'd say you found a really great guy who knows you very well and cares a lot about you," Elizabeth smiled.

Nadine and Lulu both scoffed, but the younger blonde remained silent. "Why'd you say that?"

Elizabeth shrugged coyly. "Because unless he knows otherwise, it's always roses."

Nadine laughed it off but Johnny, who was climbing into the elevator, looked particularly disturbed.


	12. Chapter 12

**This Is Your Song | 12**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

"Jeez, where is everyone?"

Nadine looked around in awe as Johnny let her in, and was still gaping at the empty hallways and rooms as he slipped her coat off her shoulders.

"It's like a freaking ghost town in here! Like the ones with the cute little tumbleweeds rolling around."

"I have no idea what a tumbleweed is," he replied honestly, tossing her jacket on the coat rack. Reivers wasn't around, obviously, and he had no idea where the hangers were, so the quaint little rack in the corner would have to do. "But I'm pretty sure we don't have any."

"They're those little balls of dried hay and weeds that roll around, like in the old western films," she explained absently. "No, seriously, where is everyone? I've already taken three steps and no one's tried to shove a drink in my hand or food down my throat. Way to be hospitable, jerk."

Johnny laughed and steered her further into the house. He'd taken special care to dismiss his entire household staff today, and Crimson Manor was entirely empty. But he couldn't let her know that. "Actually, my staff has the day off today. That's why they're not around."

Nadine eyed him suspiciously. "…So you're home alone?"

The corner of his mouth curled up wickedly. "_We're _home alone."

"Ah," she murmured, letting him take her hand and yank her into his waiting arms. She wound her own around his neck as he leaned in, teasingly brushing his lips against hers. "I see how it is."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nadine was exhausted. Completely, entirely, mind-numbingly exhausted.

It was ridiculous, really.

And still, that stupid boy wouldn't let up. He was like that creepy little Energizer Bunny but instead of just wanting to bang his drum, he wanted to have sex again and again.

Even now, he was kissing her nose and rubbing his hand up and down her side, trying to see if she was awake and would respond favorably. They were sprawled out in the chair in his office, he leaning back against the warm, buttery leather and she in his lap, straddling him with her head now resting on his shoulder because she was too damn spent to get up.

And he still wanted more, the stupid boy.

God.

They didn't get any stupider than Johnny Zacchara, that was for sure.

He'd pounced on her as soon as she understood that they were on their own for the day, and he'd taken her to all his favorite rooms in the house. He made love to her on the couch in the family's parlor, laughing at how horrified his sister would be if she ever found out, and then when she caught her breath, he was carrying her to the kitchen. There, she had him bent over with his back against the cool marble of the counter as she leapt onto it, straddling him easily, and they'd gone at it like that.

The kitchen was also where she'd lost one of her socks. She had absolutely no idea where it went, but it just plain disappeared. Johnny promised to find it for her later, but she didn't have high hopes. He was such a stupid boy, after all, he'd probably forget and then find it all gross and dusty under the fridge in two months and throw it out.

God, boys were stupid.

After the kitchen, he'd wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her to the library, nibbling on her neck as he told her all the awful things he wanted to do to her there. They'd done it on his most favorite, softest armchair with her on top yet again, and it had been thrilling. Nadine kept expecting someone to walk in – they were in a library, after all, and any time she'd ever made out in one, she got busted by one of the crusty librarians who told her to respect the books for God's sake – but no one ever did, and they were able to enjoy themselves thoroughly.

She'd fallen asleep after that and when she woke up an hour or so later, Nadine found herself once again in Johnny's bedroom. He was fast asleep next to her, his mouth hanging open and one arm lazily slung across her waist as he slept, but she was able to rouse and arouse him fairly easily.

When he took her again in his bed, it was different from the first time they'd done it there during his party. It was slower, lazier, without the nagging thought that downstairs there was a throng of partygoers that would eventually wonder where they were and what they were up to.

She'd fallen asleep again and this time when she woke up, she was in his game room. They'd fooled around on his pool table (he left the cover on, the stupid boy, because he claimed he didn't want to ruin the felt, so that was kind of weird) and then she'd gotten thirsty. When he was done making crude jokes about that, he took her across the house to the kitchen. On the way, they'd passed his conservatory and he'd pointed out his telescope and some of his rarest flowers, then murmured exactly what he wanted to do to her there under the stars once the sun had finished setting.

He finally got her that damn water she wanted, and then made fun of her when she said it was fine if he just poured it from the tap, and it was Nadine's turn to make fun of Johnny when he pulled out special double-purified and mineral and vitamin-induced mountain spring water imported from Switzerland. God, he was weird. Water was water.

She had been wearing just his shirt (how did _that_ happen, by the way?!) in the kitchen, and Johnny had her backed up against the fridge in no time as she tried to drink her water, and he nibbled on her neck and her shoulder and said and did all sorts of dirty things until she threatened to dump the water on him to cool him off. In response, he just plucked the half-empty glass from her hand, set it on the counter, and carried her off to his conservatory like she was a bag of potatoes or a bale of hay on the farm.

He had artificial turf put in there, so they took off their shoes and walked around on the fake grass as he took the time to point out some of the more unique flowers up close instead of just in passing. The sun had gone down and the old-fashioned streetlights he'd had installed along the edges of the conservatory were starting to turn on as it grew darker and darker.

Johnny even took the time to show her how his telescope worked, which she thought was cool, and had been surprised to learn that she had one like it (but not nearly as nice or expensive) in the loft of Aunt Rayleen's barn behind Crowell House before it was torn down and the land sold.

And then, as he'd promised, they watched the stars come out and somehow, before Nadine knew it, he'd worked her out of her shirt and had her on the grass, and she was almost embarrassed at how easy it was for him. But it was hard to complain, especially since he was wearing only his pants that sat slung low across his hips, anyway, and looking down at her so deviously.

He had taken her under the stars, just as he'd proudly asserted he would, and she couldn't help but laugh afterwards and, at his confused look, inform him that he was extremely corny and just so lucky that the terms of their agreement kept her from telling everyone in town that Johnny Zacchara liked to make love under the stars. He'd wrinkled his nose, looking like a child, and asked who ever said anything about love, and she had to admit, easily enough, that he was right, but he was still damn lucky she couldn't tell anyone about how lame he was.

After that, they'd been too tired to do anything but go to bed, even though Nadine was a bit hungry at that point, and managed to sleep for a bit. When he wasn't being a stupid boy and doing dirty things to her in it, Johnny's bed was actually incredibly comfortable, and Nadine had no trouble drifting off to sleep.

She awoke around the same time Johnny did, both of them hungry but a little stiff, and he lazily ran a hand through his mussed hair and looked over at her.

"You wanna wash up, then get something to eat?"

"Sounds good," she yawned, reaching for his shirt that she'd left on the corner of her bed. She wiggled into it and slipped out of bed, yawning as he led her to the massive bathroom. "Oh, jeez, a family of four could live in here."

Johnny shrugged and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands. "Mm. Shower or bath?"

"Shower," she replied instantly, tugging him toward the spacious shower stall with fancy fixtures.

He laughed as she pulled him along. "Not much for a bath?"

"Oh, I love baths," Nadine told him as he hooked his thumbs under the band of his boxers and let them drop to the floor. "I've got a bathtub at home with claws, and it's great. I take baths all the time. It's just that it's not healthy for women to have sex in bathtubs or hot tubs or in the ocean or a pool or anything like that."

He was arching a brow at her as she whisked his shirt over her head and reached in to turn on the water and adjust the temperature. "And what makes you think I'm going to try to have sex with you?"

Nadine rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, it's, like, the only thing you're interested in. The _only_ thing."

Johnny laughed and stepped into the shower with her. "You have a point."

She let out a humming sigh as soon as the hot water hit her sore muscles, and Johnny moved behind her and did the same, letting the water cascade over his shoulders and down his chest. Only when they were both feeling sufficiently reenergized by the steam and heat did he slip an arm around her stomach, his fingers slipping lower and lower and lower until…

Nadine grabbed his wrist before he could touch her the way he wanted and looked over her shoulder at him. Johnny shrugged and shot her a cocky smile.

"Sorry, Crowell, that 'bitch, please' look of yours doesn't work on me," he said, remembering the phrase she'd used earlier. "I'm immune."

"Immune to me?" she challenged, drawing a line with her finger from his chest down to his pelvis, smirking when his eyes darkened. "Oh, somehow, I don't think so."

She stood on her toes to kiss him, flicking her tongue against his lips until he opened his mouth, and Nadine rocked into him the way she knew he liked. The water made their bodies slippery, and he grasped her waist with both hands to keep her close enough. Nadine trailed kisses along his jaw and down the column of his throat, and Johnny closed his eyes, loving the feeling of her skin rubbing against his and her lips on his neck.

Her hand moved lower and lower, dancing along the ridges of his muscles until it settled low against his body, and Johnny shivered when she ran her fingers up and down the length of him.

"You wouldn't believe it," she murmured, pulling back so that she could watch him as she touched him. "In my nursing class, there were a bunch of girls who were pretty immature when it came time to study male genitalia."

Her finger circled the tip of him and Johnny leaned back against the heated shower wall as the water beat down on Nadine's back and splattered onto his chest.

"They'd get all stupid when we studied different issues involving the penis," Nadine continued, forming a ring around him with her fingers. "Stupid, right?"

Johnny could only grunt in response.

She squeezed gently, saw him bite his lip at the sensation. "I mean, you'd think they never saw a penis before. Or if they did…they sure as hell didn't know what to do with one."

He groaned and turned his head to the side, his nose brushing against her cheek, and Nadine wrapped her free arm around his shoulder and held him still as her fingers worked the underside of the head.

"Now, you know, we were always taught to be very careful around this area." She eyed him as she touched him there. "Right below the head of the penis is where all the nerves come together, and it's very…sensitive."

Johnny's hips bucked against her hand and he actually let out a whimper. Nadine smiled and kissed him sweetly, continuing her ministrations.

"And if you squeeze…here…" She tightened her fingers and Johnny sucked in a quick breath. "And then hold it, and then let go, it causes a rush of blood back into the area, which makes it even more sensitive."

"Oh, God," Johnny groaned, throwing his head back, his fingers grappling for something to hold on to in the smooth tiles.

Nadine smiled and moved her hand higher, squeezing him, and Johnny's lashes fluttered. She worked him a little rougher, feeling him get even harder, but stopped when he frowned. "Too hard? Sorry, I-"

"Too hard is hardly ever the problem," he said gruffly, taking her hand and wrapping it around himself again. He covered it with his own and made sure she met his gaze before he squeezed. He winced slightly at the pressure and then moved their hands a little higher, squeezing just as hard, and showed her how to continue touching him.

Nadine watched him in awe as he worked his jaw, trying to keep his head, and kept squeezing him when he removed his hand. "…I always thought guys didn't want to be touched there that roughly."

"Trust me," he said, his voice ragged as his body began to tremble. "…We're so much rougher with it on our own."

That made her laugh for reasons she couldn't altogether explain, and Nadine nibbled on his neck as she continued to work him. Just for fun, she eased close until her body was plastered against his, the hot water beating down on them, her breasts flat against his chest, her head tucked under his chin as his body grew impossibly stiff.

Johnny let out a strangled groan as he found his release, spurting into her hand as he slumped forward. Nadine kept him upright and lifted her hand, letting the pressure of the water wash her hand clean, and kissed him hard as soon as he'd had a chance to catch his breath.

They stayed in the shower for a while, just pressed up close together under the water, and Johnny finally turned it off when Nadine complained that her fingertips were starting to look like wrinkly old men.

She was a bit concerned that she didn't have anything to wear (and she nixed his idea that she just walk around naked, the damn fool woman) so Johnny wrapped her up in a short black terrycloth robe before he dug out a pair of sweatpants for himself, and by then, the two of them were absolutely famished.

"Your staff has the day off," Nadine told him pointedly, actually poking him in the side as they trotted down the rear stairs to the kitchen. "I sure hope you know how to warm up a Pop-Tart, rich boy."

Johnny scoffed. "I don't eat food that's rectangular and comes in foil packaging, thankfully. And I can cook."

"Lies. All lies."

"Yeah?" He grabbed at her hips, making her squeal, and they stumbled into the kitchen. "Sit over there. I'll show you."

She hopped up on the stool he pointed to, unable to shake the fact that just a few hours ago, she'd been straddling him there on the very counter she was resting her arms against. As if reading her mind, Johnny wiped it down with a disinfectant wipe and then served her some orange juice before he got to work on the food.

"What are you making?" she asked curiously, watching him get out flour, sugar, and yogurt. "That looks fancy."

"Nothing much," he assured her. "Listen, there's some fruit over there. Help yourself, these will be about ten minutes."

It took him a couple minutes to whisk everything together and set it in the oven, and then Johnny moved on to whatever else it was that he was cooking. Nadine was a bit busy peeling her banana and eating her strawberries, but she could have sworn that she saw him get out some champagne.

"Okay, seriously, _what _are you making? You do realize that I get my breakfast from McDonald's every day, right? You don't need to impress me."

Johnny snorted as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Why the hell would I try to impress you?"

Nadine shrugged. "…Why else do I see a thing of caviar right next to you?"

"Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Johnny informed her archly, "and is meant to be properly enjoyed."

"It's nighttime," she pointed out. "I mean, well, close enough to morning, but still. Night."

He shrugged. "I like breakfast no matter what time of day it is. It's always been my favorite meal."

"Yeah? Why?"

He topped whatever he was working on with a sprig of basil and moved on to the next one as the coffee pot whirred and trickled. "…When I was a kid, my dad would get to work really early. Sometimes he'd work in his office here – my office – but usually he'd leave with Trevor and go to his offices in downtown Crimson Pointe. Leased space there for a while."

The coffee was done and Nadine slid off the stool. It took her a minute to find the mugs, but she was soon fixing some coffee for herself and Johnny. "Yeah?"

Johnny was nodding. "He'd get a really early start and didn't expect me to come around and learn the ropes until later in the day. Breakfast was the only meal of the day that I was allowed to take with only my mother present. She…She'd make sure Cook made all my favorites, and we'd sit in the sun room if it was warm enough and we'd talk and we'd laugh and it was the best part of the day because my father wasn't around."

She handed him his coffee and watched him sympathetically. There wasn't really much she could say to that.

"And ever since…I've just really loved breakfast."

The oven beeped, shaking him out of it, and Johnny quickly moved toward it. In a few minutes, he had their plates assembled with breakfast food that was absolutely like nothing on the menu at McDonald's. And she'd know – she'd eaten practically everything there as she made the mad dash to work.

"Um…" Nadine spread her napkin on her lap and glanced up at him. "Not to be rude, but…what _is_ this?"

Johnny smiled indulgently. "Those are peach yogurt scones. Fruit and dairy, my mother made sure I had some every morning. And those are champagne-poached eggs on portabello mushroom caps with smoked salmon and caviar."

"Eggs, vegetables, and protein," she noted, poking at it with her fork. It was unlike anything she'd ever tried before, but he worked so hard and she was sure she'd enjoy it. "Very nice, Zacchara."

"…Then why aren't you eating?"

She glared at him and saw that he had his mouth full and was watching her with amusement. "…I'm getting around to it. Honest."

Taking a deep breath, she took her first bite and chewed thoughtfully. "Mmm…Um…interesting."

He was smirking at her, the stupid boy. "You want me to take the caviar?"

"Oh, my God, please."

Johnny shook his head when she pushed her plate toward him and scraped the fish eggs off her plate and onto his before handing it back to her. Nadine took it and this time proceeded to eat happily. "I keep forgetting how plebian your tastes are."

"Whatever." She kicked him under the table, and somehow, that turned into a lazy game of footsie until he ended it by trapping both her feet between his. "…You know, I had a good time here at your house."

"Yeah, so did I," he murmured, popping a peach wedge into his mouth as he looked around the kitchen. "…First time in a fucking long time."


	13. Chapter 13

**This Is Your Song | 13**

**.: Crowell House :.**

"I thought you had roommates. Annoying ones."

Nadine rolled her eyes and dragged him though the hall to the main room after making him wipe his feet. She was sure he was absolutely shocked when she took his coat from him and tossed it onto the arm of the couch instead of taking it away immediately to have it dry-cleaned, pressed, scented with pine needles and citrus and hung in the closet awaiting his departure. God, that stupid boy probably didn't even know what happened to his coat after his butler took it from him. For all he knew, it went on magical adventures with his scarf and his riding crop.

"Leyla's out of town for the weekend to visit her aunt in Syracuse," she explained, pushing him so that he flopped down onto the couch. She followed, sitting so that her legs were tangled up with his, and Johnny hauled her more firmly into his lap. "And Gina's house-sitting for one of her old patients, who's on some Caribbean cruise this week or something, so we haven't seen much of her."

He was still looking around in awe at the piles of books on every flat surface, the fuzzy Kermit the Frog slippers she'd left by the recliner, the warm throw blanket left unfolded, and the stash of girlie magazines thrown into a bulging and buckling magazine rack. No doubt Crimson Manor never looked like this – her house actually felt lived in.

His mouth was hanging open a little as his eyes roamed around the room, and Nadine grasped his chin so that he was looking at her. "And that means we have the place all to ourselves."

Johnny grinned slowly, leaning into her so that Nadine found herself slowly forced back until her head hit the cushion as he loomed over her, his lips only barely brushing over hers.

"I like the sound of that."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny stretched out in the recliner in the sun room as the last rays of sunshine lost the battle to the dusk and disappeared. Nadine was in his lap, a blanket wrapped casually around her shoulders, and she was making swirly designs low against his belly with her fingertips. She knew he was always sensitive after they'd finished and didn't touch him, instead choosing to tease him in other ways.

Nadine yawned against his shoulder and rested her head there as he linked their fingers together. She was so glad she'd dragged him into the sun room. It was a bit cool this time of year, and Johnny was reluctant because of the temperature until she suggested warming him up. Then he was suddenly all into it. Who knew?

"So you really didn't get my message?" he was asking, running his thumb over her knuckles. "I sent you, like, two texts at least before I got here."

Nadine shook her head. "I told you, I lost my phone. Well, I didn't really lose it. It's in the house somewhere, I just can't find it. And I couldn't search for it today because you were coming over and I had to clean."

"Yeah…" He looked over his shoulder at the rest of the house, which was adorably cluttered. Also, there were probably things moving under the couch. He could have sworn he heard chants of "do it, do it," while he was nailing Nadine there earlier. "You did a good job."

That earned him a pinch on the side, and Johnny squirmed. "Hey! Stop that!"

"Can I help it if you've got so much flab to pinch?" she growled, pinching his other side, and then again when he tried to swat his hands away. "Not everyone has a Reivers, you know."

"They should," he groused, wondering what the hell she was talking about when she said flab. He had no flab. "You can get one at Barney's for about $600. Reduced sale price."

"Yeah, yeah." She kissed his chin and hopped off him, ignoring his pout as she pulled on her clothes. "Listen, I don't know about you, but I'm _starving_. I'm going to go get us something to eat."

He sighed and pushed himself off the comfortable recliner, wondering why they didn't have one of those at Crimson Manor, all worn and soft and beaten in at all the right places, and pulled on his jeans but went without the shirt. "Okay. Listen, I can call your phone if you want, see where it is."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, would you? That'd be great. I'd be lost without my phone, no joke."

Johnny followed her out of the chilly sun room and watched her head into the kitchen as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "So, what are we having?"

"Food," came the reply tossed over her shoulder, and he rolled his eyes. Damn woman, would it kill her to be specific?

He hit her number in his speed dial list and listened for the ring. "Meaning?"

"Meaning, food!"

Johnny grumbled under his breath and slowly walked down the hall, listening for her phone. He had no idea what her ring tone was, either; she had a different one for each person in her phone book. It might actually be interesting to see what her tone for him was.

He got her voicemail so he hung up and called her again, walking slowly through the living room, then the dining room, then past the bathroom and the mud room, and finally heard something in the family room. He had to call her again and finally found her damn phone sitting under a bandana between two piles of medical journals on the coffee table.

Johnny was disappointed to find that he was actually disappointed (yes, double-disappointment, a most formidable foe, indeed) that the ring tone Nadine reserved for him was just the plain old default one. But when he picked up her phone, the image flashing caught his eye.

It was a picture of him, taken with the camera on her phone, obviously, and Johnny just stared at it. He was in bed in her room, his arm curled to cushion his head, his lips parted as he slept. He had absolutely no idea how she'd gotten the picture, but he almost hated that she had. He looked so…different in that picture. Peaceful, vulnerable, almost.

He hated that. He hated _looking_ like that. He hated that she'd not only seen him like that, but managed to get a picture of him like that, a picture that showed up every time he called her when he wanted to hook up.

Scowling, he jammed his phone back into his pocket and made his way down the hallway to the kitchen. Nadine was standing at the stove in her blue jeans and a baby t-shirt, having ditched her cardigan when he last peeled it off her in the family room, and smiled when he walked in.

"Hey. Listen, do me a favor, grab the butter and juice from the fridge?"

He frowned and looked over her shoulder, finding that she was frying eggs. "What are you making?"

"Breakfast," she smiled back, and much to Johnny's dismay, his irritation over that stupid picture on her phone began to fade away…just slightly. "Thought you might like it. Eggs, sunny side up, sausage, toast with strawberry jam, blueberry pancakes, juice, and coffee. Not as fancy as what you're used to, but-"

"It looks great," he said, meaning it. "I, uh, found your phone, by the way."

She turned on him so fast that she almost splattered grease on the stove, and Johnny moved quickly to handle the skillet. "Oh, really? Where was it? I was looking _everywhere_ for it."

"You left it under a wrap or something behind your magazines. On the table."

"Oh," she murmured, brushing his hands away and sliding the eggs onto a plate. "That's right, I was using Leyla's lucky bandana to clean off my phone. Ha, she got so mad. Okay, did you grab the juice?"

He poured it into two glasses and set them on the table as she brought the rest of the food over. "Let's eat."

Nadine passed him a fork and took her seat across from him, watching him methodically start in on his eggs before cutting his sausage into perfect pieces. He was eating ravenously and still hadn't put on his shirt, and she could _definitely _get used to this.

"Hey."

She watched him down half his orange juice in one sip before he added a big pat of butter to his pancakes. "Yeah?"

"I was thinking…" He'd finished his eggs now and was eating the last of his sausages even as his eyes scanned the table quickly for the syrup he'd soon be needing.

His dark eyes met hers. "Yeah?"

Nadine tilted her head to the side and set down her fork. "…Let's make this the real deal."

His fork slipped from his fingers onto the plate, and Johnny looked as if his eyes were going to bug out of his head. "Um…what?"

"Let's make this the real deal," Nadine repeated excitedly. "You and me. I mean, we've been together for a couple months now, and it's been going really well. Hasn't it been going really well?"

She didn't give him a chance to respond as Johnny felt all the blood draining from his face.

"And we get along really, really well, and we haven't had any problems so far. No one's found out about us even though we've been kind of sloppy recently, to be honest. And you've never done something stupid like insulting my intelligence by forcing me to leave you because your life is too dangerous or whatever. And I know exactly what I'm getting into if we go ahead with this, and you know what? We just get along really well in every way, and this has been so much fun, so why not? Why not make this the real deal and just go for it?"

Her eyes were shining with hope and excitement and her legs were swinging back and forth under the table, occasionally bumping into his, and all Johnny could think was that the room was too hot, the ceiling was too low, her eyes were too bright, and his shirt collar was too tight.

Wait.

He wasn't wearing a shirt.

…Fuuuuck.

Hastily, he pushed himself away from the table, almost accidentally sending his silverware to the floor and spilling what was left of his orange juice.

"That's not a good idea."

Her smile faded into a confused frown. "What?"

"It's not a good idea," he repeated, sounding harsher than he intended, although perhaps that was a good thing. It would kill those stupid ideas of hers. "No, no, not happening. Not ever happening. This…this was a bad idea."

She stood slowly now that he was on his feet, her eyes narrowed and her expression guarded. "What's a bad idea? This conversation or…?"

"This whole arrangement," he spat back, making her wince. "God, it was working so well until you went and said…_that_."

Her jaw dropped. "I'm not going to apologize for saying what I was think-"

"I knew you'd do this, too." Johnny raked a hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at her. "I just knew you'd do it. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that your stupid womanly instincts would win out and you'd form some sort of perverse attachment to me and you'd say…_that_."

Nadine's eyes blazed with anger, and her hands curled into fists. "Don't make the fact that I actually liked you sound like a weakness."

He ignored the disgust in her voice mostly because he couldn't bear to hear it directed at himself, even though the ugly things just kept on coming out of his mouth. "This was perfect the way it was. I just wanted a lover I didn't love, and it worked. And I actually let myself believe that you wouldn't go and fall for me, and then you gave that embarrassing speech-"

Color bloomed in her cheeks and Nadine bit her tongue.

"-and I was hoping that this wouldn't happen, but I should have been realistic." He glared at her and saw her wince and take a step back. "God, just like a girl to do this, too. I should have known better. You're so – so – trusting and naïve and _sweet_ and I just knew you'd go and fall for me."

Nadine was visibly trembling as he stalked toward her, stopping just inches from her, and she glared right back at him. "Don't make it sound so ugly. You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"God," he scoffed, looking down at her from head to toe. "…I bet you love me even now."

She hadn't said that she loved him, but Nadine didn't deny it and in that moment, he knew. He knew she loved him, that she might still love him, even though he'd-

A hard crack echoed in the room, and Johnny's head actually snapped to the side when her palm made contact.

Nadine stood there before him as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn't just slapped him so hard that she'd left a red mark, and her eyes were as hard and steely as his.

"Get out."

His cheek stung, but he didn't give her the satisfaction of showing it. "Gladly."

He stalked into the sun room and grabbed his shirt, and when he got back she was holding out his coat for him, her arm extended as far away from her body as possible as if the damn thing had been soaked in every foul substance known to man.

He snatched it from her, his lips curling into a derisive sneer. "And don't come chasing after me, little girl. I'm finished with you."

"Get the fuck out," she ground through her teeth, her body stiff and taut even after he'd stormed out and slammed the door shut behind him. Her gaze fell on the table, on the food they'd abandoned, and Nadine wanted to send it all crashing to the floor.

What the hell kind of idiot ate breakfast for dinner, anyway?


	14. Chapter 14

**This Is Your Song | 14**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

_Two weeks later…_

"I'm not taking it to him, you take it to him."

"I'm not taking it to him, you take it to him!"

"Skank!"

"Twit!"

"Ladies, please."

Claudia walked into the kitchen just in time to see Reivers step between two squabbling maids. "What the hell's going on in here?"

"Ah, Miss Claudia," Reivers greeted her, looking as calm and composed as usual as he took the breakfast tray from one of the maids. "These two ladies were just arguing about who should bring the breakfast tray in to Master John. I believe the unpleasant task falls on me…unless you would like to take it in to him."

Claudia snorted. "Are you crazy? He's been a total bear for the past two weeks. I've already gotten my head bitten off, thank you."

"You weren't here yesterday, Miss," one of the maids piped up. "He threw his shoe at a mirror and shattered it entirely when Susie tried to enter his room and turn the bed."

"That was nothing compared to what he did last week," the other one said. "Janie found a sock between the refrigerator and the counter – a pink one with white stripes, probably not his – and Master John saw it and pitched a terrible fit."

"Remember when he punched a hole in the wall?" The first one shook her head. "He nearly gave poor Annie a heart attack. All she wanted to know was if he wanted the furniture in the library reupholstered. It was hardly something to go and punch a hole in the wall for."

"Yes, Master John's been in a dreadful mood lately," Reivers remarked lightly. "And it doesn't seem that he'll get any better if we withhold his food. And since all of you are too yellow to do it, as it were, you will please excuse me."

He grasped the tray and swept regally out of the room, off to serve the man of the house, as Claudia and the two maids grimaced.

"What do you think it is, Miss Claudia?" one of the maids asked hesitantly. "I don't mean to be too forward, but if it was something that we could help him with, something we could do something about, however small…"

Claudia arched a brow at them. "Unless you can change into a pretty little blonde nurse with a very unhealthy love of children and puppies and sunshine, there's nothing."

The maids blinked. "Miss?"

"Look, I don't need this house turning into a gossip mill, I don't need word leaking to the press, and I definitely don't need my brother knowing I told you," she warned them, "…but he was seeing someone and it ended badly. That's why he's upset. Just try to be patient with him. I don't know when he'll snap out of this, but just be patient with him."

The two women nodded in unison, pleased that the lady of the house would take them into her confidence like this. "We'll let the others know as well, Miss. It won't leave the house. And we'll take good care of him."

They heard yelling down the hall and the clatter of something, then the sound of glass being shattered, probably when Johnny threw his dish into the wall, and within seconds Reivers came sprinting down the hall and skidded to a halt in front of them, whirling around only to shut the kitchen door firmly.

He let out a relieved breath when it was closed, adjusted his lapels, and smoothed his hair back, shooting the women a dark look when they all looked at him blandly. "Oh, be quiet, all of you. That boy's an absolute monster."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny scowled at the file before him. It was useless information. Besides, that asshole Trevor should have been looking over this. This sort of contract was beneath him; Trevor should have thought about it for a fucking minute before handing him the forms.

With a growl, he swept the file off his desk and sent it sailing into the fireplace.

Trevor better have back up copies, for his sake.

Johnny hunkered back in his seat and scowled at nothing in particular. The past two weeks had been unbearable and dragged on like anything. Normally, he could lose himself in his work, and when that didn't work, he could lose himself by getting into his car and just driving really, really fast on the Cliff Road, trying to mow down Jason Morgan on his stupid motorcycle just for the fun of it. Thank God for tinted windows and an illegal license plate that could be hidden, otherwise Jason would have shot him a long time ago for almost sending him off the cliffs.

But none of that was working this time. When he got into his work, he'd think he'd been working for eight hours at least only to look at the clock and see that it had only been two. When he got into his car, sure, it felt good and exhilarating and all that, but when he got out that feeling fled and he still felt miserable.

This was just the worst.

He couldn't believe that he actually…felt _bad_.

And what was more, he actually…missed her.

God, he missed that damn irritating woman.

Johnny scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a heavy sigh. He didn't even know what to do anymore. Claudia had been right, that night of the party after he got back from Milan. She'd been absolutely right and he'd ignored her, pushed the thought out of his head, told himself that he was just fine and that everything was okay.

He'd started liking Nadine long before she'd started liking him, he was pretty sure of that. She was loud and bright and peppy and bouncy and it annoyed the shit out of him sometimes, but she was just so different from every other woman he'd ever been with. He picked other kinds of women: the disposable kind. They were beautiful and sexy as all fuck and let him do whatever he wanted to them, but in the middle of the night he was putting them in a car and sending them away because that was how it was, that was how he liked it. There was never any point to having a relationship with any of them and he'd never once considered it.

But Nadine was different. She wasn't like any of those women. She was beautiful, of course, but there was so much more to her than that. She was a typical small town girl, and he'd never dealt with that breed before. She loved children, she had actual friends, she wasn't afraid to put herself out there, and damn, was the sex good.

It sounded pathetic of him, but she was kind of the whole package. If his mother was still alive, Nadine would have been the one woman he'd ever been with that he wouldn't have been ashamed to bring before her. In fact, now that he thought about it, he really wished his mother was alive today just so that he could introduce her to Nadine. He just wanted to know what his mom would say about her. He was willing to bet that Nadine would be able to win her over fairly quickly. There would be awkward shenanigans, of course, because Nadine would be nervous and would shoot her mouth off about random things and his mother would have to hide her embarrassed smile behind the rim of her tea cup, but once they both relaxed, he imagined they'd settle into an easy friendship.

God, he was pathetic, sitting around and imagining what his dead mother would have to say about the woman he was no longer seeing.

Johnny swallowed past a lump in his throat and watched the discarded file continue to burn. He just didn't want to know what to do with himself anymore. He was surly and curt, and he knew he'd been terrorizing the staff for the past fifteen days but he just didn't know how to stop. And honestly…he wasn't even sure he cared to. Letting out his aggression that way made him feel just a little better, even if just for a moment. And he'd take that, because nothing else seemed to be working.

He just felt awkward in his own body and mind, uncomfortable and irritable and suspended in a very strange, slightly scary place he'd never been before. And beyond that, he was just plain going out of his skin. It had been two weeks since he'd gotten laid, and this was just uncomfortable.

It had been like this in Milan. He'd been exhausted by the end of the day and had fallen right into bed after he was excused to go upstairs, sure, but no man was ever too tired for sex. It was just a plain fact. And there had been plenty of women around, his uncle Rudy made sure of it. In fact, Johnny was pretty sure he'd worried the man by resisting all those beautiful Italian girls that were paraded around in front of him.

He told himself it wasn't really his fault: he just wasn't all that into brunettes anymore. Redheads were all wrong, and the blondes he'd seen, while nice, just weren't doing it. Some of them were too tall, some were too short, some too thin and bony, some too curvy. None of them were right.

But the truth of the matter was that none of them were her, but he couldn't admit that to himself so he told himself that he'd just gotten picky and beyond that, resistant to change. Besides, he was busy. So it was no big deal.

He wanted to have sex now, it was no secret. He'd gone out a couple nights this week with just that intention in mind: get in, get a good, quick fuck, and get out. But it hadn't worked, no matter how many girls were around and half-drunk and practically begging to blow him, it just hadn't worked. He couldn't even explain it, but everything just felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar, and Johnny wasn't a fan of the unfamiliar.

Sex was a rough, dirty, gritty, exhilarating act, but it was also one that rendered the participants extremely vulnerable to each other. And he found that if he was going to be that vulnerable with someone, he didn't want it to be a faceless, nameless whore in the back alley under the moonlight that might come back around to haunt him later. He was getting too old for that shit. Or maybe he was getting too paranoid.

Or maybe he was just getting too sentimental.

Johnny groaned and pushed himself abruptly to his feet, causing his chair to slide back on the carpet. He didn't care where he went at the moment; he just needed to get far away from this house and far away from these thoughts.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: General Hospital :.**

She was talking to Leo.

He saw her as soon as he stepped off the elevator, and there she was, just as she'd ever been. Her long hair was curled at the bottom and the side parts were pinned up and back, leaving her face open and fresh. She was wearing the pale blue scrubs, the ones that matched her eyes, and laughing loudly at something Funny Man Leo was saying. Regular fucking comedian, that one.

She didn't look any different. He'd avoided her religiously over the past two weeks, mostly because he thought he should, and also because he was fairly certain she'd run over him with her car if he set foot in her path again. But here she was, looking just as she always did. Same scrubs, same hair, same bright eyes, same laughter.

She wasn't sulking or miserable at all, she just…was.

"Nurse Nadie! Nurse Nadie! Nurse Nadie!"

Johnny watched a little dark haired boy run across the hub and catapult himself into Nadine's arms. She'd been surprised when he'd yelled her name but turned immediately to catch him, placing him on her hip as if he belonged there. She and Leo smiled down at the kid as Nadine swept the three year old's hair out of his face, and Johnny wanted to punch something.

"Guess what?"

"Monkey butt."

"No," the boy laughed, looping his arms around her neck as Nadine jiggled him. "I get to go home tomorrow! Daddy said!"

"That's wonderful!" To Johnny's surprise, Nadine pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek and forehead. She was so warm and welcoming with everyone, so affectionate and genuine, and it had been wasted on him when she actually gave a damn about him.

"What's the first thing you're going to do when you get home?"

"I'm going to…" The little boy stopped to think about it. "Danny's house! He just got a new dog."

Nadine and Leo laughed at that, and Johnny awkwardly came to a stop at the hub as a tall, dark haired man trotted over to the nurse.

"Nadine, I'm so sorry," he got out, holding his arms out for his boy. "He just got away from us for a second there."

"Don't even worry about it, Mister Gale," she smiled, waving off his concern. "Kyle was telling me that he's getting out of here tomorrow."

"Yeah, he is," the father smiled, holding his son close to his chest. "We couldn't be happier. If it wasn't for you two and the other nurses…"

"Hey, all that matters is that this little guy is going home." Ever the asshole, Leo stepped forward gallantly and patted the stupid ankle-biter on the back. "You've been here long enough, buddy."

Nadine smiled and waved the father-son duo off, and Leo hopped up into the hub to grab one of his charts, and that was when Johnny was spotted. He could see her falter when she saw him for the first time since he'd stormed out of her house, but that was all the reaction he got.

Distressingly enough, Nadine didn't show much discomfort at seeing him again. He'd expected the cold shoulder, rude looks, maybe even another slap. But she was a professional woman and just looked at him, her demeanor pleasant enough, though confused.

"Can I…help you with something?"

He didn't really have much of a plan – hell, he didn't even know he was going to come to the hospital until he was in the elevator headed up to the fifth floor – so Johnny just said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm here for the board meeting."

Nadine frowned and glanced at the monitor in front of her. "Um…that's not until Thursday."

"Oh." He pushed himself away from the hub. "I…my mistake. I guess I wrote it down wrong."

She nodded once. "I guess you did."

With nothing left to say, Johnny turned slowly and headed back to the elevator. He punched the button to go down and looked over his shoulder just to see if she was still watching him.

She wasn't.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Crimson Manor :. **

Johnny flopped down on his piano bench with a grunt. He didn't know what he'd tried to accomplish by going to the hospital to see Nadine; it had been an ill-conceived plan and that just made him angrier because none of his plans were ever ill-conceived, god damn it.

She'd looked so…normal. So unflappable and…composed and…well, he was running out of words because there just weren't any. She was _normal_.

And that irritated the fuck out of him because he was the one that was supposed to be that way. It was supposed to be the other way around. He was the one that was supposed to run into her at one of his haunts, and she was supposed to be all twisted and messed up about this. And _he_ was the one that was supposed to be all composed and normal, damn it!

Instead, she was going on as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn't practically told him she loved him, as if they hadn't gotten into an ugly fight and as if he hadn't stomped out of her house telling her that he was done with her.

Now he was the one feeling like his stomach was twisting itself into knots, and she was playing with the kids at the hospital and standing around with that asshole Leo as if nothing had changed.

His fingers fell to the ivory keys and he plunked out a few awkward, angry notes. But as always, his mind clicked into gear at the sound and he slowly began to relax as the music flowed easier. He loved to play different pieces, of course, but what he really loved was composing. There was nothing like hearing a melody in his mind and being able to write it down on paper, to actually hear it in the room, coming from his own piano, coaxed out by his own fingers on the keys.

He played on a little longer, the melody sweet but drained, and finally had to stop because it reminded him of her and how she'd sleepily asked him to play her something sometime. He knew then that he never would; he wished now that he had.


	15. Chapter 15

**Note – **Yes, yes, I know what Johnny does here is very, very dangerous to passersby in a fatal sort of way. I am not endorsing or condoning his actions. I just thought that people would jump on me, so I put this disclaimer here. Ha ha ha.

**This Is Your Song | 15**

**.: General Hospital, Rooftop :.**

He hated these late night board meetings. Not only were they a complete waste of time, but he had to come back to the hospital and see just how 'normal' Nadine was. She didn't ignore him, she didn't purposely flounce past him; she just behaved as she would have had he been anybody else, and it frustrated him to no end because he wasn't supposed to be _anybody_. Not to her.

And she definitely wasn't just anybody to him.

But convincing her of that was pretty much out of the question. When he'd showed up for the meeting, she was at the hub with Elizabeth. They'd both looked up out of habit when the elevator doors opened and they both flashed him a small, polite smile and then went back to their work with almost comic alacrity. And Johnny had no choice but to walk past them, unable to keep himself from periodically glancing at her as he did, trying to look as if nothing was amiss.

When he got out of the meeting, he'd made the mistake of walking past the pediatrics waiting room on his way to the elevators. And sure enough, there was Nadine, kneeling at a little table with about five kids, coloring away happily. Her ponytail was swinging back and forth and the tip of her tongue poked out of her mouth with concentration as she filled in some cartoon character's shirt while debating the time old question of who was better, Elmo or Grover.

God.

He'd taken the stairs up after that instead of taking the elevator down, not sure why he did that until his feet hit the ledge and he found himself looking down at Port Charles. He loved the hospital roof; it was his favorite place in the whole stupid town before he and Nadine made Jake's their own. Standing up here, with the world at his feet, always helped him clear his head and feel in control, and God only knew that he needed it now.

The cars passed by under his feet, small dark things with little yellow twinkling dots, and he took in a deep, cleansing breath. A quick glance at his watch told him that he'd been up on the roof for about an hour, and that Nadine's shift had ended about twenty minutes ago. It usually took her that long to get to the locker room and shower and change, and so she'd probably be heading out now.

It irked him that he actually knew her schedule. Hell, everything about this irked him.

Well, enough was enough. There was one way to get over these ridiculous feelings and even though it wasn't going to be pleasant, he'd do it anyway.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and found her on his speed dial list. Before he could give himself time to talk himself out of it, Johnny punched the dial with his fingernail and held his phone to his ear, holding his breath as it rang.

It must have rang a good four times (three was his limit) before she picked it up.

"_Hello?"_

Johnny sucked in a quick breath and, in a panic, ended the call. He wobbled slightly on the ledge even as he did it, kicking himself for acting like a child, and slowly slid his phone into his pocket.

God, he was a mess. Showing up where she worked with no real reason, calling her and then hanging up as soon as she answered…a total fucking mess.

He let out a heavy sigh and stared down at the street, filled with self-loathing, and almost fell off the side of the building when his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and stared at the screen, seeing "NC" flash there repeatedly. Johnny just stared at it until it stopped ringing, all the while debating what to do, and finally snapped out of it when a little icon popped up, alerting him to a new voicemail message.

It took him just a second to call in and retrieve it, and Johnny hesitantly held the phone to his ear, still standing on the damn ledge.

"_Johnny, hey, it's me, Nadine. Your number popped up on my phone just now, so you either hit the wrong button or you were trying to call me. If you were trying to call me…well, I don't know why you would. But don't feel like you have to, because you definitely don't. As far as I'm concerned…we have nothing to say to each other."_

The corner of his mouth curved downward.

"_You don't owe me anything, obviously, and I don't owe you anything, so it's a clean break and let's just leave it that way. Um, thanks for the time we spent together, I guess. It was fun, I had a good time while it lasted. See you around town, I guess, although I doubt it. Goodbye."_

The dull beep filled his ears and Johnny dropped his hand in disgust. Even her messages were so…clinical and devoid of the bubbliness he so naturally associated with her. She sounded like she was canceling a magazine subscription or telling the neighborhood boy he didn't have to shovel her driveway anymore because she just bought a snow blower.

Her speech had been clear, to the point, almost insulting, and left on his voice mail. And it left him feeling cheap, used, and alone.

Which was probably how he made her feel when he stormed out of her house after she told him she wanted something more.

God fucking damn it.

He sneered at his phone and, without even thinking about it, dropped it off the hospital roof. Johnny turned smoothly on his heel and hopped off the ledge. He was out the door and in the stairwell long before the phone even hit the ground below.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Jake's Bar & Billiards :.**

Johnny pulled into the lot and killed the engine, about to get out when he saw that one dark-haired nurse from the hospital carrying out a bunch of pink towels and a little purple satchel. Those looked like Nadine's towels…

And sure enough, Nadine emerged from the back door of the bar two minutes later, carrying two duffel bags filled with stuff and followed her friend to the car. They deposited the bags in the trunk and Johnny rolled down his window so that he could hear them.

He was in a different car tonight, one that Nadine couldn't have recognized, and he was parked in the shadows so they probably hadn't even seen him.

"That's a lot of stuff for one little room," the other nurse remarked. He couldn't remember her name to save his life. "You sure you don't want to pack up the bathroom sink?"

"Shut it, Leyla."

Ah, Leyla, that was her name. Like the old Clapton song.

"This is the last of it, though, isn't it?"

Nadine nodded as she arranged the things in the trunk, and a lock of her hair fell into her face. "Yup, this is the last of it. I'm totally moved out. God, I don't know why it took me so long. I just kept putting it off until I had a good chunk of time to get everything out of there."

"Coleman was sorry to see you go," Leyla remarked wistfully, leaning against the door.

Johnny saw her shrug. "He'll get over it. He'll find someone else to flirt with. I'm hardly the first."

"He seemed surprised, though," she clarified. "That you were leaving after renting from him for so long. Since you came to town, really."

Nadine straightened and shrugged again. "The way I figure it, there's no reason for me to have a room above Jake's. Aunt Rayleen left me that whole house, all to myself. And it's a beautiful house. There's absolutely no reason that I shouldn't be living there full-time. Besides, I'll have some extra money in the bank now."

Leyla nodded and pulled her keys out of her purse. "You ready to go? Anything you still need to get? …Anyone you want to say goodbye to?"

"Nothing and no one," Nadine replied in her normal chipper tone, pulling open the passenger side door. "It's all done."

"Don't…" Leyla tucked her hair behind her ear, and he could see her hesitate. "What about that guy you're seeing? Doesn't he come to Jake's a lot? Have you told him that you're not going to be there anymore? Shouldn't you at least see if he's around-"

"Leyla, I love you, but drop it," she told her seriously. "I'm…actually not seeing him anymore, so it really doesn't matter one way or another. He probably won't be coming to Jake's anymore, anyway, and if he does, well, it won't take too long for him to figure out that I'm not there. Not that it would matter, trust me."

"You're sure?"

"Totally sure. We're over for good and I'm fine with it." She flashed her friend one last smile. "Let's just go home and order a pizza or two, all this moving has me starving. Oh, and extra crazy bread."

"Where would we be without the extra crazy bread?" Leyla smiled, and that was the last he heard from them. The engine purred to life, the lights were flipped on, and the car pulled out of the lot and onto the main road, leaving him parked in the shadows, still unseen.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Jake's :.**

Johnny drummed his fingers nervously on the tabletop. He was tucked away in a cozy booth toward the back of the bar, close to that old piano that Nadine had suggested he play on. An untouched bottle of beer sat in front of him, condensation pooling at the base. He had ordered it but was too nervous right now to drink it.

He'd done it.

It had been horrible and terrifying and he had no idea what the hell he was doing while he was doing it, but he'd done it.

A couple days after watching her move out of Jake's, Johnny had forced himself to face the inevitable: he missed Nadine. He regretted what he said to her. And he wanted her back.

He wasn't in love with her – at least, he was pretty sure he wasn't – but he still wanted her back. If he forced himself to admit it, she made him happy. He hadn't been that happy in a very long time. And now that she was out of his life, he was absolutely miserable and there was no end in sight.

Normally, he could pull himself out of it. Normally, it was no big thing. Normally, he just got over it.

But there was nothing normal about this situation, and he'd finally accepted that. He wanted Nadine back, and in order to get her back, he'd have to do something he'd never done before. He'd have to get her to meet him, and he'd have to apologize and ask her forgiveness. He'd actually have to chase her, and he wouldn't have blamed her if she didn't make it easy for him.

But here he was, sitting in a booth at Jake's, just like he told her he would be. He'd called her up and actually gotten her on the phone. Nadine hadn't said much, but he'd asked her to meet him here about ten minutes ago so that they could talk, and he said it was very important and that he really needed to see her.

He drummed his fingers nervously on the countertop again, his eyes peeled for the first glimpse of her. And that was how Johnny Zacchara sat, his leg bouncing anxiously under the table, his shoulders tense, his beer untouched, for the next hour.

Nadine never came.


	16. Chapter 16

**This is Your Song | 16**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

Claudia walked into her brother's offices just in time to catch the tail end of a very suspicious conversation.

"-Look, I know I messed up," he was saying, his back toward her as he spoke. "But just give me one more chance, okay? One last chance. I…I hope I see you there. Goodbye."

She cleared her throat and he turned instantly, a guilty look on his face before it was replaced by anger. "What the hell are you doing in here? Ever heard of knocking?"

"Door was open," she said, pointing behind her as she drew closer. He glared at her, still surly, and stuffed his phone into his pocket. "What are you doing?"

"None of your damn business."

"Tsk, tsk." She shook her head and took a seat on the corner of his desk. "You'll never get that nurse back if you can't control your temper."

His eyes widened in an expression of pure panic before he shut it down and sat back in his chair, his shoulders still tense. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Drop it, John," she said, but her voice was surprisingly gentle. "I know there's not a whole lot you want me knowing about your life now, and I get it, I really do, but you've got to trust that there are going to be some things that I can help you with. And that I want to help you."

His expression didn't change, another sign of how far apart they'd grown since their father separated them at a young age.

Claudia clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at him. "Look, I don't need you to tell me everything. Hell, I don't even need you to tell me anything."

His snort told her that he had no intention of filling her in, anyway, so she'd set herself up to avoid disappointment.

"Because I know that you were seeing the nurse, and that you guys were going at it pretty hot and heavy…" It was awkward having this discussion with her baby brother, but she shook it off. "And then you just…weren't. And you were in a terrible mood for weeks and just now you sounded like you were leaving her a message and begging her to come meet you."

Johnny scowled darkly. "I don't beg."

Claudia arched a brow at him. _"Really."_

He rolled his eyes and finally conceded. "…I just need to see her."

"And she won't meet you?"

He shrugged. "I asked her to meet me before, at Jake's, and she said she would, but then she never showed."

Claudia let out a laugh before she could help it. "Oh, God, she stood you up? Nadine stood you up?"

His dark glare told her that was exactly what had happened.

"Oh, I'm sorry, John, I'm sorry," she said, unable to stop laughing. "I don't mean to laugh at you, honest, its just…Have you _ever_ been stood up before? For anything?"

Johnny was pouting like a child. "No."

"Oh, honey." Without even thinking about it, Claudia reached out and stroked his cheek, laughing away a twinge of hurt when he scoffed and pulled away. "…Do you think you might have had that coming? I mean, I don't know how you guys ended things, but…?"

Johnny sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "…Yeah, I had it coming."

"And you still want to meet with her," she said gently, "and I'm guessing it's to apologize for whatever it was you said."

"…Yeah."

"And maybe get back together with her?"

"…Maybe."

It was the closest thing to a yes he'd give her when it came to divulging his secrets, and Claudia could understand that. John had become a very private person who guarded his personal life fiercely, even against her. If he was willing to give her a maybe on that, it meant that he really wanted the nurse back in his life.

"Look, for what it's worth, I think this is a good thing." Her sober brown eyes bore into his. "I really do. So don't feel embarrassed about it, don't feel like you have to hide it. And don't feel like it makes you any less of a man because you're admitting this to yourself and acting on it."

He scowled at his toes but said nothing.

"I think it's good that you're trying to make things right with Nadine," Claudia told him honestly. "You've been alone all your life, and you've had tons of meaningless flings. A guy can only last so long on that, despite what you all claim. And Nadine…well, she seems like she's the kind of girl that'll stick around."

"Yeah," he murmured, propping his chin up in his hand. "She would have stuck around. If I hadn't worked so hard to push her away."

"What's done is done," she reminded him sagely. "All you can do now is find her and talk to her and let her know that things have changed. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, John. People and things change all the time. There's nothing wrong with realizing that what you thought you wanted just doesn't cut it anymore. There's nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself, with wanting better, with wanting it all."

He nodded along slowly until her meaning hit him, and Johnny glared at his sister. "I don't love her, you know. I don't."

Claudia put her hands up and shrugged. "I didn't say you did. Don't get so defensive, you might give people ideas."

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: General Hospital, Locker Room :.**

They found Nadine lying on the bench in the locker room, staring at the ceiling with her phone held to her chest.

Elizabeth frowned and moved past her toward her locker. "Nadine? What's wrong?"

She shook her head wearily, getting up when Leyla and Kelly appeared so that they could sit on the bench and take off their shoes. "Nothing."

"Well, obviously, something's wrong," Kelly said, kicking both her shoes to the floor but making no move to stand up. It had been a long day for all of them. "You're all serious, and you're never serious."

"Thanks."

"You know what I mean."

"What's going on?" Leyla wanted to know. "She's right, you do look…different. Like you're worried or frustrated. Did something happen?"

Nadine nibbled on her lower lip, debating whether or not she should fill them in. She'd been in good spirits – well, okay spirits, but she had to fake being her normal bouncy self at work so no one would ask questions – for the past couple weeks, so it was no surprise that they noticed her off-mood today.

Things had been…strange since she and Johnny called things off. Well, more like since he called things off and stormed out of her house after proving that he got it right the first time when he said he was an asshole.

Even though she told him that day that she wouldn't apologize for what she felt or what she said, the truth was that after he left, after the anger faded, Nadine was embarrassed. It really sucked, putting yourself out there only to get smacked down. And that was exactly what he'd done: he'd smacked her down without any care or thought and just left.

She'd kicked herself for a couple days after that: if she'd never said that, this wouldn't have happened. But that thought was eventually rejected and faded away; after all, if she kept on thinking that without saying it, she would have grown unhappy with him since he clearly didn't show any signs of reciprocating.

So Nadine had kept to herself for about a week, avoiding Leyla and Regina's questions and concerned looks. She'd wallowed: eaten ice cream, watched unapologetically inane movies, and even indulged herself by taking an extra scented, extra bubbly bath in her adorable claw-footed tub.

After that, things became easier. It probably had something to do with the fact that she told herself, very plainly, that all she could do was accept what had happened. It wasn't like she was going to change his mind. And frankly, if he was that repulsed or enraged at the idea, she didn't even know that she meant it anymore.

He'd hurt her deeply, but the best course of action had been to just buck up and get over it. She wasn't in love with him or anything, but had honestly thought that if they gave it a real go, she could have been. He'd squashed that idea pretty quick, and what was done was done. It sucked, but she'd be okay.

It had been weird seeing him at General Hospital a couple weeks after their fight, but she was more confused than anything else. Johnny always knew when the board meetings were; he looked to them with dread. And his schedule wasn't just something he scribbled on a post-it the night before. She knew he planned out his week with one or two personal assistants, sometimes even Trevor, and usually his sister because she seemed incapable of realizing that she wasn't running the business with him. Either that or she just wanted to be closer to him and show him that she could be around and be helpful. While Nadine favored the second thought, Johnny leaned more toward the first.

So for him to say that he wrote the date down wrong had just been strange, a several-person error instead of just his own. She had no idea what was up with that but frankly, she didn't care. He didn't like Port Charles all that much and she had to figure that the only reason he'd been in town so often over the past couple of months was so that they could hook up. Now that they were done, there wasn't much of a reason for him to be around except for meeting with the hospital board and possibly Jason Morgan, the rumored godfather in town since Sonny Corinthos stepped down.

Mostly, Nadine was just proud of herself for the way she handled it. It had been reactionary, mainly because she'd been so surprised to see him, and she had been acting more out of shock than anything else. If she'd have stopped to let it sink in, she would have either been catty or would have made up a transparent excuse to get out of there.

But she had done neither. Instead, she stood her ground and treated him professionally and didn't give him a second glance when he left. And she had to admit…that was pretty bad ass.

As a rule, she didn't let herself think too much about what Johnny was thinking or feeling post-break up. It didn't signify to her. They weren't together in any way, so she had no reason to quibble with things like that. But then he'd gone and asked her to meet him, and she'd wondered for days what it would be about, since he didn't seem the type to change his mind.

And in the end, she decided not to go. Screw him.

Just now, she'd checked her voicemail and found that a couple days after she stood him up, the stupid boy was still at it. He wanted to meet her again, and she had no idea what to do.

So maybe asking for advice wouldn't be totally out of the question. Her friends might have been dumb, but sometimes they were smart.

"You know that guy I was kind of seeing for a couple months?"

"The one that had you all happy and doing agility exercises with a quarter?" Kelly asked, arching a brow. "Yeah, we remember…even though were never introduced to your tall drink of water."

Nadine spared her a bland look. "We basically decided we'd keep things quiet, not draw too much attention to it. It wasn't all that serious, anyway. And then we ended things because he was kind of an asshole, and then he asked me to meet him to talk about stuff and I didn't because I just didn't want to deal with him, and today I got this message."

She held up her phone, flipped it to speaker, and played the voicemail.

"_Hey, Nadine, it's me."_

Elizabeth frowned slightly at the voice, but Nadine knew there was a very small chance that she'd recognize it. She'd only spoken to Johnny once or twice and not for very long at all, so they were safe.

"_Listen, we really need to talk. Or…you don't have to talk. But I do. I know we said we'd get together a couple days ago and that ended up not happening, and I understand, but I…I really have to see you."_

Leyla placed a hand on her chest. "Oh, he sounds so sad."

Kelly immediately elbowed her; one of her constant complaints against the nurse was that Leyla was too soft-hearted when it came to idiotic men.

"_Not at Jake's. Meet me tomorrow night at my place on the waterfront, right by the docks. Nine o'clock. I really hope you come, but if you don't, I'll…understand and I won't bother you again. I won't. Look, I know I messed up, but just give me one more chance, okay? One last chance."_

Elizabeth let out a low whistle. "…He must have messed up good."

"_I-I hope I see you there. Goodbye."_

Nadine clicked her phone off and stared at it. "I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to see him again?" Leyla asked, hurriedly adding, "Don't think, just answer."

"Yes and no."

Her roommate rolled her eyes. "Well, that's of no help."

"Why don't you want to meet him?" Elizabeth asked gently.

Nadine shrugged. "Because he was awful when we broke up. Just awful. And I don't want to deal with that again."

"It doesn't sound like he's asking you to meet him so he can chew you out some more," Kelly pointed out. "He sounded pretty down. A little desperate. And like he knew he messed up, like when he said that he wouldn't bother you again if you stood him up…again."

"Why _do_ you want to meet him?" Elizabeth asked, taking the other side of the issue.

"…Because I want to hear what he has to say," Nadine said finally. "Even if it's awful, at least it's closure. And, yeah, I guess you're right, he's probably not asking to meet me so he can be a jackass again."

Leyla was nibbling on her lip. "So…what are you going to do?"

"I think I'm going to flip a coin." Nadine pulled a silver dollar out of her pocket, the one she used to do the agility exercise Johnny taught her. The women watched as she flipped it high in the air, then caught it in her hand and smacked it down on her arm.

Elizabeth craned her neck. "Well?"

Nadine tucked the coin between her fingers and looked up at her. "…I guess I'm going to listen to what he has to say."


	17. Chapter 17

**Note – **The last chapter, amazingly enough. I'm glad that I have another Nohnny story done, and I plan to start posting the next one, _A Great Fall_, at some point in the near future along with a primarily-Liason fic with Johnny and Nadine as a supporting couple called, _Boys Are Like So Totally Dumb_. I made a promo/slideshow for this fic only because Erica asked about it in one of her replies at , so it's definitely for and because of her. I hope you guys enjoy the ending and the video; it makes much more sense if it's watched after the fic is over! And thanks for all the replies and the support.

**This Is Your Song | 17**

**.: Johnny's Apartment :.**

Nadine took a deep breath and knocked on the heavy wooden door to Johnny's apartment. He rarely used it since he spent so much time with her at Jake's whenever he was in town, but he told her that before they got together, he bought it just so he'd have a secret place to stay in town. No one knew he lived there, not even Claudia, but he'd told her where it was just in case something happened.

She'd walked over as soon as her shift at General Hospital was over, and had even taken care that no one was following her or watching her. She didn't want to jeopardize his safety in any way, even if he was a colossal asshole.

She heard the locks being undone and then the door was pulled open, and there he was. It might have been her imagination, but Johnny looked a little thinner, more so in the face, than he had before, and he seemed a little haggard and drawn. It was probably just the stress of his job. He took certain measures – moisturizing daily, staying hydrated, exercising – to combat the effects, but it was possible that the past month had been a little crazier than he'd expected, business-wise.

"Hi." He looked nervous, which was strange, because she'd never once seen him nervous. "I'm really glad you came."

Nadine just nodded.

"Uh…" Johnny stepped aside and beckoned her in. "Come on in."

After a brief pause, Nadine stepped into his apartment. It was nicely furnished, tasteful and elegant just like him, and she could see that it made a pretty good safe house. She stood in the middle of the room, looking around at the understated black couch with matching armchairs, the bar along the side of the room, and the grand piano by the tinted windows.

She made absolutely no move to take off her coat or her purse or sit down.

Johnny seemed to understand this, and he actually began to wring his fingers as he stood in front of her. "It's really good to see you."

Nadine forced the corner of her mouth to quirk up, mainly because not doing so just felt rude. Although, honestly, why was she worried about being rude to a guy that had been so awful to her? Damn Aunt Rayleen and her folksy sense of manners and propriety.

"I just, uh, I just thought that we needed to talk after…" He gestured emptily. "You know."

Nadine nodded, but still didn't move. "So talk."

He let out a short breath through his nostrils. "…You wanna take off your coat?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I'll be here that long."

He wasn't used to the stony, ticked off side of her, and Nadine could tell that Johnny didn't know how to react to that. So he just nodded and gestured toward the couch. "Will you at least sit?"

She obliged by moving toward the armchairs, but to her surprise, Johnny headed over to the piano and casually sat down on the bench, his feet soon poised over the pedals.

"…What are you doing?"

He rested his fingers on the ivory keys and glanced up at her sideways, sober but at the same time just a little mischievous like she remembered. "Remember that time when we were in bed and you asked me to play you something sometime?"

The way he almost growled 'in bed' sent warm shivers up and down her spine, and Nadine had to remind herself to stay composed.

"Yeah?"

"I never did, and I never planned on it," he informed her lightly, running his fingers over the keys he was so familiar with. "…Let me play something for you now."

If he'd called her over all this way just so he could play her a damn jazz tune, she was so over it. Rolling her eyes, Nadine turned around and would have walked right out the door when his voice stopped her.

"Nadine." When she glanced over her shoulder, his dark eyes were boring into hers. "Please. Stay. Let me play something for you."

She had no idea what it was, but something in his voice made it impossible to just leave right then. Damn that boy. It figured that after she got so used to him being a little distant and very individualistic and only sweet when she least expected it, he'd go and play the vulnerable card.

God.

Stupid boys.

She moved closer to the piano but didn't sit, even when he moved over a little on the bench. Nadine did, however, grant him a concession by setting her purse on the floor and very slowly unbuttoning her jacket.

Johnny cleared his throat, still looking nervous, as if he felt that everything somehow hinged on what he'd play her. She idly thought that it better be good if he thought he could win her back with it.

"There are certain pieces of music I love to play," he murmured, his fingers dancing slowly over the keys without actually pressing down on any of them as he got primed up. "Pieces that will get in my head and I'll be antsy all day until I can sit down and play them the way they were written."

Nadine wondered if this had a point.

"…But even more than playing compositions, I like to actually compose." He braved a glance up at her and saw that a flicker of interest in her eyes. "There's something very satisfying about hearing something in your head and being able to get it out and actually see it on paper and hear it in the air."

Nadine rested her arm on the edge of the piano but said nothing.

Johnny cleared his throat again and held his fingers still over the keys. "You know our family lawyer, right? Trevor Lansing? You've seen him around town?"

"Yeah."

"This is Trevor."

He began to play for her, an odd tune that was fast and then slow, and then fast again. It was wily and creeping, and certainly very intriguing. Nadine squinted as she listened, almost able to see the image of a sinister man creeping through dark hallways and concocting all sorts of treacherous plans.

Johnny glanced up just in time to see the tail end of her smirk, which encouraged him. "And you know who Sonny Corinthos is."

Nadine nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"This is Sonny."

This was a mad tune, all jilted and unpredictable. He played it in a higher key so it sounded shriller than smooth and dark Trevor. His fingers danced furiously on the keys, crafting a tune that was lilting and dizzy with false deep notes to create the comically obvious illusion of power and somberness.

Nadine covered her mouth with her hand so that he wouldn't see her smiling.

"No?" Johnny's eyes glittered. He could tell from the way her eyes crinkled at the edges that she was amused. "Okay, okay, I'll be serious. How about…Jason Morgan?"

Her eyes shone with interest as he once again placed his fingers properly on the keys and began to play anew. This composition was drastically different from the one he'd just played. It was slow and careful with deep, rich notes. It was somber, and not falsely somber the way Sonny's song was. She felt the music wrap around her, and felt like it could go on forever. But for some reason, instead of making her smile, this one made her frown.

"It sounds sad."

Johnny looked up at her as she leaned against the piano, surprised that she'd said something.

"It sounds…" She pressed her lips together, trying to articulate how it made her feel, what it made her think. "It sounds like a part of you…feels bad for him in some way?"

Johnny licked his lips and instead of just lifting his fingers from the keys, he let the piece trail off and end on a long, lingering deep note. He didn't answer her question, and she didn't really expect him to. Maybe he'd tell her eventually what it was, but it was okay if he didn't.

"Your friend, Elizabeth."

This tune was different. It was bright and a little perky, but still demure and dignified enough to properly capture the demeanor of the young mother and hardworking nurse. Nadine perked up; it was a pretty little tune.

But after listening to it for a little bit, she heard it. Really heard it, and understood what Johnny was saying. She heard how the piece was basically the same little melodic line, repeated over and over, each time ending on a high note that sounded just a little too plinky, a little too shrill, a little too out of place. Plus, the repetition was getting annoying, and it actually detracted from how pretty the tune was otherwise.

He was watching her as he played, gauging her reaction, seeing if she passed the test. Nadine confirmed that she had indeed by sparing him a bland look. Obviously, he didn't have as high an opinion of her friend as she did.

"Oh, come on."

"What?" he asked, his dark brows jumping up. "I call it like I see it."

Nadine shook her head. "Nope, we'll never agree on that."

"We might one day," Johnny murmured cryptically, but she knew she wouldn't get any more on that from him. At least, not today.

"Okay, enough about your annoying friend." He shot her a teasing look and "How about that bar tender that always hits on you?"

This time, it was a smooth, cool, jazzy sound. It was fun and whirling, bleeding into itself so seamlessly that she could practically see irreverent, self-assured Coleman moving around effortlessly behind the bar at Jake's. Johnny didn't seem to mind the tune either and moved through it easily, which made her think that even though he occasionally ragged on Coleman around her, he really wasn't offended by the things the bar tender would say to her, and he certainly had never felt threatened by it.

She watched his fingers slow over the keys as the song trailed off, and arched a brow at him. "Who's next on your list?"

"That sister of mine that actually likes you," he smirked, earning a surprised look. "You've met her. Claudia."

"I remember," Nadine replied, still sounding surprised. "Go ahead. Play."

He did as she asked. It was a sultry, dangerous sound, but soft enough to sound just a touch wistful, a bit distant, and slightly sad. Nadine didn't know all that much about his sister, but she knew that Johnny and Claudia had been separated at a young age and hadn't spoken in almost ten years before she came to Crimson Pointe to live with him.

He used to talk about her sometimes when they were both just lounging in bed, about how close they were at one point. He made sure he spoke in the past tense, and didn't really appreciate it when Nadine pointed out that Claudia obviously missed him and wanted to spend time with him. He didn't get angry; he just didn't believe her when she said that.

"I like that one."

"Yeah?" He didn't really know what to make of that, and shrugged instead. "I don't know, I just put it together and saw her and…"

"It sounds like her," Nadine agreed. "I mean, I know I've only met her once or whatever, but…it sounds like her."

She tilted her head to the side, propping her chin up in her hand. "You got any more?"

"I've got you," he said, glancing up at her as he held his fingers poised over the keys. When she didn't look horribly offended by that, he tentatively began to play. "This is your song."

Nadine was at once struck by the feel of the music, and once again felt it wrap around her. It was a study in contradiction: he skillfully mixed high notes with deeper ones, creating a rich tapestry of sound that sounded painstakingly crafted. She watched the movement of his fingers, utterly transfixed as he played with one hand, and definitely saw how those dexterity exercises paid off. The piece was sweet and sexy at the same time, fun and lively, but with fuller undertones that formed a solid, grounded base.

It was her, set to music. It resonated in her heart like few things ever had before, and Nadine's eyes were shining by the time he finished.

Johnny didn't look up at her and this time held his free hand over the keys, placing the other one on his thigh. "…And this is me."

He began to play again, and the two compositions were as different as night and day. The first one had been happy, for lack of a better word, and this one was moody and sullen. Hers had been fun; his was structured and oddly austere. Hers was open and trusting with its rich, repetitive notes; his was a little stilted, sounding suspicious. Hers was bouncy; his was cautious. Hers was light; his was dark.

And despairing.

She wanted it to be over immediately, she wanted to not hear it anymore, except for the fact that it was so beautiful and engaging and that made her not want it to end ever.

It was confusing.

Nadine watched him play, pushing away the instinct to reach out to him and touch him, and Johnny finally let the piece taper off. He let out a slow, deliberate breath, calming himself, and finally looked up at her. He found her gazing back at him openly, wistfully. She was always so bad at hiding her emotions; she didn't have the years of practice that he did, after all.

"And this…" Johnny held his fingers poised over the keys once more. "…This is us."

That confused her, but then Johnny began to play and she recognized her song. But he was using both hands this time, and she heard his song being played simultaneously, in perfect rhythm with hers. The two had been so completely different in every way, but the way he played them now, together and in time…

She had been wrong.

_This _was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.

And this was _their_ song.

Johnny kept his gaze trained on the keys as he played, never once looking up, and the cozy apartment was soon filled with the deep, lingering notes he played so carefully and tenderly. There weren't any words to describe the melody he composed, except that it was the perfect blend of him and her and nothing else even signified.

Nadine closed her eyes and felt his music cloud her mind, sweep her off her feet, make her heart swell with something she couldn't name. He'd done all of this just for her. No one had ever written her a song before, or shared so much with her through wordless music, and no one had ever shown her how perfectly she fit with someone else before Johnny Zacchara.

Their song was drawing to a close, she could feel it, and she didn't want it to end. When it did, Johnny paused before removing his hands and lowering them to his lap. She opened her eyes reluctantly to find him looking up at her.

He didn't say anything, simply held out his hand. Nadine stared at it for a long moment before slipping her hand in his, and Johnny pulled her into him. Her thigh hit the side of the bench and she stumbled a little before he situated her close to him so that one of her legs was tangled with his.

"I'm sorry I said what I did." His voice was rough and soft at the same time. "I'd like to say that I didn't mean to hurt you, but I knew exactly what I was doing."

Nadine had been expecting him to say that he hadn't meant to hurt her, and her brows furrowed in confusion. "But why'd you do it?"

"Because it's what I've always done," he shrugged. "I've never let anyone get close to me. I hated my father, I lost my mother, and my sister and I were separated before I even had a chance. The only person who's in my life and knows me and supports me and…who I don't think I could get by without is Reivers. And he's my butler."

The corner of her mouth hooked up. "Well, he's a pretty awesome butler."

"He is," Johnny agreed. "But he's the only one. And I never let myself think about how awful that was or what it said about me. And then I saw you, and eventually we hooked up and…it wasn't…it just felt…normal?"

He squinted at her, trying to see if she got where he was coming from. "It wasn't awkward. I didn't immediately want to shove you out the door when we were done."

Nadine burst out laughing. "That's what every woman wants to hear."

Johnny shot her a bashful look. "Sorry. It's just that I kind of liked having you around, and I told you things. And you told me things. And I never planned on telling you any of that stuff, about me, about my parents, about my sister. I know I slipped once or twice and told you something about my organization. I never planned on telling you anything that personal, but I did. And when I sat down and thought about it, it fucked me up."

He shook his head. "You knew too much. You knew more than anyone that wasn't in my inner circle. And I don't slip up like that with people, I just don't. I never trust anyone enough to let them close enough so that I can tell them things. I just don't, never have. But I did it with you, and obviously, it meant something and it was for a reason. And when you said what you said, about wanting the real deal, it just hit a little too close to home so I did what I always do when I need to protect myself: I told you, in effect, to go get fucked. I've done it a million times and it always worked."

Johnny laced his fingers with hers and stared down at their hands. "And it worked with you, too, which was a relief. For a while. And then I figured out that it was awful. I had no reason to chase you away like that. We worked. We're the last two people anyone would put together, but we worked. We just did."

Nadine was watching him carefully. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, that if you're in, I want the real deal, too." His dark eyes were solemn and smoldering, and she had no reason to doubt his words. She knew when Johnny was being sincere, and she knew he meant this. "I'm not saying that everything will be perfect. I'm not saying I'll be a good…boyfriend."

She had to smirk at how it took him a second to get that word out, and how he crinkled his nose a little just because the word itself was so foreign to him.

"I'm not even saying that I know this will work. I'm just saying…I want the real deal, too. And I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'll understand if you don't want to. But I just…needed you to hear all this."

Now it was her turn to stare at their linked fingers, and Nadine nibbled on her lower lip as she thought. "I…I…Shoot."

There was no point in trying to formulate some long, convoluted, rambling response. She just couldn't. So instead, she just looked him in the eye and blurted out the first thing she could think of.

"I'm glad I did what the coin told me to."

Johnny's eyes narrowed as he tried to decipher the odd statement, and he successfully made a few leaps of logic and figured out that she'd left it to chance and was glad she came. And that was good enough for him.

Without any preamble, he used their clasped hands to tug her to him and pressed his lips to hers. It wasn't a deep kiss, just a simple but insistent coupling of their lips, and their breaths mingled even after they pulled away. Her lashes fluttered and her nose bumped sweetly into his, and Johnny gazed down at her from under heavy lids as he brushed his lips very lightly over hers once more.

Nadine let out a shaky little breath and squeezed his hand. "…Johnny?"

"Mm?"

"Play me our song again."

**The End.**


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